You’ve done it, made a clean break. But then — it’s usually when you’re alone with your thoughts, come across a photo of the two of together, or see a shirt or hear a song that reminds you of your ex — regret sets in. Because it’s our nature to overanalyze, you will recall every happy moment (conveniently, the bad times completely slip your mind) and you start to wonder, “Did I make a mistake? Did I give up too soon? Should we try and work it out?”
We’re not saying every guy you’ve ever dated deserves a second chance but there may be a select few — or, one exceptional man — who makes you second-guess your decision. If you don’t want a lifetime of wondering “What if?”, here’s how to know if you should consider giving him another shot (and, hopefully, the feeling is mutual):
You’re overanalyzing everything
Ever since the split, you can’t stop thinking about how it all went downhill, recalling every fight, every argument, what he did wrong and how you nitpicked everything. Maybe, just maybe, if you had been more patient, you two would still be together.
You won’t shut up about him
Your friends are so over you talking about your ex so for their sake, either reunite with him or find a new topic of conversation.
Your friends won’t shut up about him
Hmm, if your pals still mention him and are still rooting for you to get back together, they might be on to something. They wouldn’t steer you in the wrong direction.
There are still pics of him everywhere
Whether they’re in frames on your dresser, on your desk at work or he’s your screensaver, if you haven’t changed them yet you’re clearly not ready to say goodbye for good.
You don’t even notice the hottie staring at you
Men are falling at your feet left and right, offering to buy you drinks, asking for your number… and you barely see them. And your single friends hate you for it.
You’re stalking him on social media
You’re on his Facebook page almost as much as your own. You pour over his most recent posts, his new profile picture and, most importantly, monitor his relationship status the same way you keep checking Lululemon’s “we made too much” section.
You’re stalking his family and friends on social media
If your ex hasn’t posted anything new to FB or Twitter or Instagram, your mind will go into overdrive, wondering why he’s too busy to update anything. So the next best thing is to scour the pages of his pals and relatives. Unhealthy? Yes. Illegal? Possibly? Typical? Heck, yeah.
The shirt he conveniently forgot at your place just happens to be your new favourite nightshirt
That smell. It’s like he’s right there next to you.
You haven’t changed your FB status
It’s hard for everyone to go from “in a relationship” to “single,” so keep in mind that if you refuse to do it, everyone’s going to know you’re still pining. But it’s also letting your ex know he still has a chance. Oh, we see what you did there.
You just happen to run into him at his favourite hangouts
Thanks, FourSquare! And thanks to your ex — who you know always checks in wherever he goes — for the “accidental” run-ins at his gym, the pub by his work, and the lobby of his building.
His number is still #1 on your speed dial
For some reason, you can’t delete his number, much less bump it down to the regular old contacts.
You’re still having sex
The only thing that’s hotter than ex sex is sex with the love of your life. Right?
You still find reasons to text him
From the crafty “Hey, hope you’re having a good day” (which you hope will kick off a lengthy conversation) to “I saw Birdman and thought you would love it” (to let him know you’re not wallowing at home and get him to wonder just who you saw it with), your texts are clearly a game that he hopefully won’t pick up on.
You go out with other guys… just to make him jealous
You want everyone to think you’re keeping your options open. Too bad everyone knows what you’re really doing — including your ex. This move almost never works.
You still hang out with all of his friends
Forcing yourself into your ex’s friends’ lives is a sad attempt to stay close to your ex, one he’ll see right through. Plus, it’s a lose-lose since their loyalty lies with him.
You still say “we” or “our”
Unless you’re referring to things in the past tense, telling people that “we” love the lasagna at “our” favourite haunt will quickly become tedious and frustrating for all around.
Everything reminds you of him
It could be your favourite restaurant, a schmoopy couple flaunting their love, someone who’s wearing the same jacket he has, or every freakin’ Adele song, you can’t get him out of your head.
You compare every new prospect to him
Every potential boyfriend never measures up, thanks to the pedestal you have him on.
Keeping track of time
It’s been 43 days, 29 minutes and 54 seconds since you broke up. Yep, just take him back already.
The sight of him still makes your heart skip a beat
If your reaction to your ex is visceral like a punch in the gut, cold sweats, shakes or upon seeing him you recall every sweet, loving moment like you’re experiencing your last breath.
You can’t get rid of all the mementos
Diamond earrings are one thing but old movie tickets (no one needs the stub for Transformers 4) or dried-up flowers are trash to everyone but you.
You’re trying too hard
Those days of leaving the house in your sweats without a stitch of makeup on are gone. In her place is a desperate gal, constantly dressing up and looking her hottest in the hope that she will run into her ex and he will realize what he’s missing and beg for her back.
Every little thing is a sign
You ran into his mom at the mall, or you heard your song on the radio three times in one day, or someone who had no idea you had broken up asked you today how he’s doing. It’s fate. You know it. The gods know it. You two are destined for happily ever after.
People can change
If the reason you split was because he wasn’t good enough for you, maybe he’s changed. It is possible and if it’s been a while, he may have actually grown up.