As Canadians, we’ve heard our fair share of outrageous questions from non-Canadians. (Hi there, American friends!) Whether it’s the one about who calls shotgun on the polar bear ride to school or why we watch hockey 24-7, the key is to keep a straight face and offer an equally crazy answer. For example:
Answer: This is a trick question, isn’t it? The uncool American version is in Ohio.
Twitter user @_harsimrank asks: “Why do Canadians have pools.. Makes no sense to me honestly.”
Answer: We do have a lot of water in Canada, but it’s reserved for polar bears, loons and other creatures. Pools were created with the sole purpose of servicing human beings.
Answer: Yes, everything is backwards up here. Annoying the hell out of Americans is a Canadian pastime.
Answer: That pretty much covers it, actually.
Answer: Because our educational system is far superior. If we want to win something, we have to prove it – especially to Americans.
Answer: Now that you mention it, there is something strange in our water.
Answer: Whoa there, that’s three questions. We do not call our ham bacon. We call our bacon, just that: bacon. And we call our ham, you guessed it: ham. Although, a “bacon burger” does sound delish…
Answer: Not everything revolves around you! Can’t we give thanks in peace without being questioned?
(Serious) answer: Soccer.
Answer: Okay, so we feel kind of bad about this one, since this person genuinely seems to want to speak “Canadian.” They obviously(?) meant to say French. So, no, French a.k.a. Canadian is not that easy to learn. Good luck.
Answer: “Your” bacon? We repeat: Not everything revolves around you! Can’t we eat bacon in peace without being questioned?
Answer: Sorry, we’re not allowed to disclose that information.
Answer: Mother of Timbits.
Answer: We are a peace-loving people.
Answer: Sadly, yes.
Answer: Do bacon-eating contests count?
And finally, Twitter user @The_Dorkster asks: “How do Canadians buy soda pop since thier [sic] quarters don’t even work in the machines? I bet they just make everything a dollar.”
Answer: We have magic machines. When we drop in Canadian quarters, they transform into American quarters. We can’t survive without our “soda pop.”
Now we know the title says “the world” is asking these silly questions, but us Canadians know it’s obviously the ‘muricans furiously typing “What time is it in Canada?” into the search bar. We operate on “mind your own damn business” time, all right?
What’s the craziest question an American has ever asked you? Be sure to sound off in the comments below!