You might not know it, but the earth’s going to be attacked by an aliens very soon. They won’t be raining down from the skies, they’ll emerge from our oceans. We’re talking about octopuses (more commonly — and incorrectly known as octopi).
The slimy creepy-crawly creatures have eight limbs, three hearts and a beak to bat. If that’s not an alien, we don’t know what is. We’ll admit that they’re super cute as babies, but as adults they’re a force to be reckoned with. You thought sharks are bad? Well, at least they can’t survive on land like octopuses. Not convinced? Take a look below and get ready to freak the hell out.
1. They can leap out of the water and kill you
Hah, you thought you were safe on land? 75 per cent of earth’s surface is covered by water, folks. And, these slimy creatures clearly aren’t afraid to jump out of it to attack us (and crabs) on our turf.
2. Just like Transformers, they’re Octopuses in disguise
You might think that’s your dear mother serving you dinner, but look again. It’s probably an octopus disguised as her. Hey, it’s not as far fetched as you might think. Currently, the “mimic octopus” can morph into 15 deadly species. It won’t be long before they’re living (and plotting) among us.
3. If they can open jars, they can open doors (and kill you)
If an octopus is chasing you down, do not run away and lock yourself in a room. Using their eight creepy arms and legs, octopuses can open pickle jars, soda bottles and peanut butter jars. If they can do that so easily, what makes you think they won’t be able open that door with a few twists? Oh and don’t try and be clever by trapping them in a jar either. They can get out of those too.
4. Cover your vents ’cause they can crawl through those
Any hole big or small is no match for the octopus. Since octopuses have no bones they can wiggle through anything. And by anything we mean, that gap under your door, your kitchen sink drain and your vents. Shudder.
5. Their body parts literally have minds of their own
For all we know, that octopus isn’t even attacking that camera; it’s the legs’ fault. Two-thirds of an octopus’ neurons reside in its arms, not its head, so says the Smithsonian. Which means when you see an octopus looking the other way, don’t let your guard down.
6. That’s not a hug, they’re actually sampling the goods
If you think a hostile octopus is trying to make amends by wrapping its arms around you in a warm embrace, think again. Yeah, octopuses taste with their arms and legs and so they’re literally sampling the goods i.e. you. It’s yet another reason to fear their far-reaching limbs.
7. Octopuses don’t give a s&^% about sharks
Sharks are vicious and supposedly invincible creatures, but octopuses don’t care — and that makes us worry. They’ve been known to kill, yes kill, sharks. How insane is that? If they can take out sharks who have insanely sharp teeth, what hope do humans have? None, none we tell you.
8. If they see a fellow octopus pick up a knife, they’ll (hypothetically) pick up a knife too
9. Octopuses will find a way to hurt you even when they’re dead
If you’re under octopus attack — as a last resort — you might think, “Hey, why don’t I just eat the thing?” Heck, in many countries raw octopus is a delicacy, but you have to be careful, ’cause they’ll still find a way to punish you. Many have died from eating live/raw octopus because as they’re going down the throat, their arms latch on and suffocate their victims. Yikes.
So, are you finally convinced that octopuses are a true danger to humanity? Let us know in the comments below.