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It’s so hot in New York that manure is bursting into flames

Whatever you do, don’t take a dump in New York. The state Department of Environmental Conservation has been receiving a number of complaints in July about flaming horse turds and the smell that emits from them. Since farmers typically shovel horse manure into piles, the extreme heat the area has been experiencing coupled with dry conditions is causing the manure to smoke, and sometimes catch on fire. In one incident, it actually took three local fire departments two hours to quell the stinky flames. There’s no word on what the government is going to do about it.

Skydiver to jump without a parachute

In other news, scuba divers will now go under water without oxygen. California man Luke Aikins is no stranger to skydiving. He’s made more than 18,000 jumps, and has helped train some of the world’s best skydivers. But his latest stunt sounds too crazy to be real: Aikins is going to jump out of a plane on Saturday without a parachute. And no, there’s nothing replacing it. He will literally be aiming for a net on the ground that will be suspended in the air by two cranes. We certainly wish him luck. *Gulp*

Customers ignore corpse, continue lining up for cronuts at New York bakery

We sure hope the treats were good, because it only cost people their soul. Hungry customers were lining up outside Dominique Ansel Bakery in Soho to try its famed cronuts this week. And apparently, even the presence of a dead body on a nearby bench couldn’t deter anyone’s appetite. Even as the line extended to more than 100 people, and even after a staff member was alerted about the corpse, nobody left their place. No foul play is suspected in the man’s death.

Pokemon Go player almost hit by driver also playing Pokemon Go

Gotta crash ’em all, folks. Police in Innisfil, Ont. say a woman who was playing Pokemon GO in a parking lot was almost hit by a driver who was also playing the game. Fortunately, no one was hurt and no damages were recorded. Police are just reminding players to be careful.

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Florida man arrested after doughnut glaze mistaken for crystal meth

Looks like we found Heisenberg. A 64-year-old driver in Florida was arrested during a traffic stop after officers spotted donut flakes sitting on his floorboard. Assuming they were pieces of crystal meth, the officer administered a roadside test, which came back positive. But weeks later, a state lab test found it was negative and cleared him. Needless to say, he probably won’t eat donuts while driving for a while.

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