Okay I get it. You hate Valentine’s. You find it a cheesy, over commercialized, saccharine day that reminds you of all the things you despise about Hollywood’s idea of romance. Hey friend, I’m right there with you.
But if we’re being totally honest with each other, isn’t there a teeny tiny part of you that wouldn’t exactly mind if your partner did something just a little bit ‘sweet’ on that day? Something a little out of character…something…I daresay…a little bit romantic?
The thing is (especially for those of us in long term relationships) we sometimes overlook the importance of spontaneous, loving gestures in our super hectic lives.
If you’ve found yourself shamefully nodding your head while reading that, here are some ideas for those of you who hate Valentine’s but love…love.
1) Leave a frickin note
No, not an email, not a tweet, not a text. One that you hand write (remember how to do that?). It doesn’t have to be long…nor especially clever nor even necessarily that articulate. Maybe it’s some personal nostalgia, (i.e. “Remember the time that I heated up an egg in the microwave for you and it blew up in your face – sorry I laughed at you but I swear it was a laugh borne out of love”). It could be a nice compliment (i.e. “I know it bothers you, but I’m totally charmed by the way your left testicle hangs slightly lower than the right”). It could also be a bit sexy (i.e. “I like that we’re lazy lovers, so how about four shades of grey tonight?”). It could even be sentimental (“I don’t understand why your feet always smell but as much as I complain, I secretly find it comforting”). You get the idea – the more personal, the better. Add in a bit of humour and you’ll be laughing all the way to the bed.
2) Memory….all alone in the moonlight…
Okay, there’s a reason why most long term couples report that even if they have a fairly ho-hum sex life on a regular basis, their vacation sex is on fire.
New space = new feelings = new excitement = new memories.
And great memories add to the depth and dimension of your relationship. So whether you rent a room for the night (and this doesn’t have to be costly…a “no-tell” motel can lead to some interesting role-play scenarios…just bring your own sheets) or you go out to an event that you would normally never go to (“Winter Solstice Candle Making and Chakra Cleansing Party”, anyone?). If you bring along your full attention and sense of humour – even the worst of times can turn into the most amazing memories. And for all of you Anti-Valentines Day purists out there, this can be any time during Valentine’s week.
3) Would it kill you to get a gift?
It doesn’t have to be expensive jewelry or drugstore chocolates or a stupid stuffed animal (what are you, a small child?). The best gifts are thoughtful reflections of your interests. So if your significant other is secretly into remote controlled helicopters (perhaps, that’s just my significant other) and you’ve never bought one for him before, why not splurge? If your female companion is into vintage etiquette books, why not visit a used book store and see what you can find? Everyone has unique interests and everyone enjoys gifts. Now is the perfect time to flex your creative muscle and get something that your significant other will really enjoy.
And if you’re still feeling like you want to rebel against this corporate confection called Valentine’s Day, then at least take some of these ideas for some other time of the year. Trust me, your love will love you for it.