Love expert Lola Augustine Brown answers your pressing dating and relationship questions
I moved to a small town last year, and have had no trouble making friends but what I really want is a girlfriend. I am 15 years old, and have only ever kissed one girl, at a party, and have never actually had a girlfriend. There is a girl I like who goes to my school but is in a different class, and we have said hello a few times, and she seems to smile at me more than she does other boys, but how do I know if she likes me? And, do I ask her out on a date? How do I go from her being a stranger to her being my girlfriend?
Eager Young Man
Well, the signs are there that she could well be interested in you, so it sounds like you could have a chance at getting the girl. The first thing you need to do is actually talk to her and strike up a conversation. Do you know anything about the kinds of things she likes to do, or what her interests are? Maybe there is something going on at school that you could talk about. It doesn’t really matter what you talk to her about, you just need to break the ice and move things past just saying hello.
Once you’ve had a few conversations with her, you’ll have a better sense of whether she is interested and there may well be a natural way to casually ask her out on a date. If she mentions going to the movies at the weekend, ask if she’d like to go with you sometime, or if there’s something fun happening in your town, suggest the two of you go together. If she says no, you haven’t lost anything, and if she says yes, then fabulous.
Assuming that she says yes, then be friendly and sweet, don’t push anything on to her (such as the idea that she becomes your girlfriend) too soon, and see how things progress. Let romance grown naturally between you, and when you feel like things are going well, then ask if she will be your girlfriend. These things work best when you put the time into getting to know somebody properly, and really enjoy each other for who you both are, not just because you want to be in a relationship.
Got a question for Lola? Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org
Please be advised that, due to the volume of letters, all questions will not be answered. Bell Sympatico or its affiliates are not responsible for outcomes, direct or indirect, resulting from following this advice. By submitting a letter, you are granting permission for its publication. Questions may be edited for length and clarity.