When I see that open suitcase and my frantic human throwing colourful articles of clothing inside of it as she paces around like a maniac, I know what’s up.
I smelled the arrival of the new Canadian passport that came in the mail the week before, after I affectively scared off the mailman with my monstrous beagle bark. Things like travel-sized toothbrushes and new digital cameras start to litter my open surfaces. Also, when my human is getting ready to go away she gets this demented glimmer in her eyes — it’s like a cross between genuine excitement and neurotic anxiety (it’s actually pretty crazy and unnecessary).
Soon, I get dropped off at this delightful couple’s home and my vacation begins. This canine-loving pair previously owned two large akitas and know how to love a beagle. In case you’re wondering, their one akita was like eight of me — he was a big guy.
It’s like going to a resort — the husband takes me for the sweetest walks and the wife gives the most divine belly rubs. They both give me cookies all day — they don’t even make me do tricks; they give me treats just for being me. For them, I am a novelty and to me, they are a dream.
Not to mention, when my human returns she is excited to see me and we enter a honeymoon phase for the next while and she sucks up after leaving me behind. She brings back random doggie finds from wherever she went and we get our cuddle on. This is the kind of treatment I live for.
So, dear humans, don’t be too concerned about leaving your pups behind — just make sure you find good people to leave them with. Because sometimes we also need a little break from life.
Bring me back something nice,
Clark Kent
