It’s natural for new parents to compare their kids, but can you imagine what the conversation will sound like when Jay-Z and Kanye get together? Swap out questions like “When did Blue Ivy first sleep through the night?” for “How’s Blue’s clothing line coming?” and you have a pretty good idea of the questions new dad Kanye might ask his experienced pal. And while plebeian parents may gently compete over regular milestones, (‘Oh, Jack can hold his head up? Ava’s been doing it for weeks now…”), international superstars and brand wizards like these two dads can compare their children’s Internet presence and general profitability.
If reports from UK’s The Sun [via www.heatworld.com] are to be believed, Kanye and baby mama Kim Kardashian are already trying to trademark their unborn baby’s name. If they do, it will be a real one-up on Jay-Z and Beyoncé, who attempted and failed to to do the same with daughter Blue Ivy’s moniker.
There’s no question that if fame-hungry Kimye are trademarking, their number one concern is the money. Controlling their baby’s name means controlling its brand identity and the kash flow that will follow the child’s delivery as surely as afterbirth.
But a source also cites privacy reasons: “Kim and Kanye are extremely business-minded but the decision to patent their baby’s name also comes from their protectiveness about privacy. There are always people keen to capitalise on the Kim and Kanye names. This means that they could control anything to do with their daughter in the future.” [The Sun, via www.heatworld.com]
Trademarking is the typically over-the-top response we’d expect from Kimye, but it’s just an amplification of what regular parents are already doing. A friend of mine purchased the dot.com address for her daughter’s name shortly after her baby was born, and after researching this story, I finally got around to registering Babydude for an email account. Granted, it’s not quite the same as turning the kid into a brand (or, uhhh, the infant star of an online column) but on the Kardashian Scale of Krazy, trademarking baby’s name ranks well below 99 per cent of Kim’s pregnancy outfits.
Kim and Kanye should just be thankful they don’t live in a country that produces official bans on certain baby names, as New Zealand does. The island nation forbids braggy titular monikers like King (the Kimye baby boy name I’ve got my money on) as well as Knight, Duke, Major, Royal, and Majesty. Also banned are less appealing choices like Anal, Lucifer and Mafia No Fear, the sad part being that the names are forbidden only after parents submit them as real choices.
Kim and Kanye will likely go for a flash name (after all, they’ve got Blue Ivy to beat), but just as non-famous parents must keep in mind how their child’s name will influence their future, Kimye has the bottom line on all those brand tie-ins to consider, so thankfully the name shouldn’t be too awful. Kim’s due in a few months, so whatever it is, we’re all going to be hearing a lot of it really soon.
WHAT’S WITH BABY NAMES?