Overall, I am a happy person. This also means that I am a happy lesbian — not to be mistaken for an angry one.
Not all lesbians are angry just like not all lesbians are happy. It seems like Chloe Curran is on the angry side of girl loving as she rants on in her Get out of my bar Straight Girl article for xojane.com.
Though I get where she’s coming from — she’s really trying to say get out of my bar, annoying girl. Because just like straight bars, gay bars can also sometimes suffer from an infestation of annoying people. All bars tend to have their share of irritating examples of humanity — welcome to life.
But straight people are not the enemy; ignorant, judgmental people are. They can come in all shapes, sizes, genders and sexual orientations. If you think straight people are evil, you are saying two things: that it’s acceptable to hate based on orientation and that you’re going to pick a fight with 90 per cent of the population.
Telling straight people to get out of your bar is just as bad as a mainstream bar excluding gay people. It’s discrimination and it’s unfair.
Perhaps I’m especially sensitive to the issue because more often than not I am accompanied to gay bars by my straight girlfriends. Most of the friends I have I’ve made through school or work and happen to be on the heterosexual side of life – but they support me, my life decisions and want to offer their wingwoman skills when it comes to picking up chicks. They’re good people.
“I go because it’s fun. I feel just as comfortable partying with both kinds of people,” says Alice Kippen, 27, a law student at Osgoode Hall Law School at York University. She’s straight and has been coming to gay bars with me for over seven years. Like most people, Kippen doesn’t want to be put into a broad category.
“No one wants to be cast as anything when they walk into a club,” says Kippen.
I don’t subscribe to many physical lesbian stereotypes and sometimes show up with a Coach clutch and am sometimes mistaken for a straight girl. Some lesbians have been kind of mean about it. The irony is for a while Kippen rocked a short ‘lezzie’ do that was well received at the same bar. But guess what? She’s straight, I’m gay and neither of us felt the need to subscribe to any stereotypes that would suggest judging anyone based on personal style is accurate.
I’m not the kind of person who befriends people based on social groups, race or orientation. I’m a big fan of connecting with an individual — wherever they may be from, whomever they may identify with and whether or not they’re gay. Hanging around with gay people doesn’t make you any more gay just as hanging around Chinese people doesn’t make me any more Asian.
To be fair, I am a lesbian who has assimilated well with straight society with an ultimate goal of never being treated any differently because of my orientation. I like the idea of acceptance, support and being who you want to be without judgment. Just like it’s unfair for straight people to discriminate against the gays — I don’t think it’s cool queer people cast stones at those who were unfortunately born heterosexual.
We fight for same-sex marriage because we want the same rights and to be treated equally, right?
Go where you want to go on a Friday night. If a bunch of straight girls want to try out a night of gay — let them have their one night of exploration. Instead of hating on them, maybe congratulate them for being open. How else are they going to know any better?
Unless they’re out to lead people on or put up some pretense suggesting they’ll do things they have no intention of following through with, straight girls in gay bars are not hurting anyone. Just have a good time and settle down, yo.
Chloe Tse is a 27-year-old journalist who has been an out lesbian for over a decade.She likes all things cheesy, enjoys the company of straight-girls and gay women alike and is obsessed with her beagle, Clark Kent. She has a lot of feelings — but more importantly, she is a fruit ninja.