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Can your sex life disappear after one year?

Find out when the honeymoon phase usually ends for most couples.

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Jillian Wood, July 15, 2013 9:55:28 AM

We all know that the “spark” your relationship had when it first began fades over time, as feelings of trust and comfort (read: weight gain and constant sweat pant wearing) start to set in.

However, a recent survey of 2,000 British couples conducted by Lloydspharmacy Online Doctor, suggests that sexual excitement begins waning after just one year of being in a relationship.

Apparently 15 per cent of couples surveyed had sex every day during the first year of their relationship, while only 5 per cent of couples who had been together longer than that reported having sex every day.

I have to ask: who are these people and when do they find the time to get busy 365 days of the year? Also, while the other 95 per cent of couples in relationship over a year may not have sex every day, surely the picture isn’t that bleak?

It turns out 53 per cent of couples in the survey that had been together for nearly four years reported having sex a few times a week – which seems fairly average for two busy, cohabiting people. After four years, only 43 per cent did. Of pairs that were together longer than 15 years, 15 per cent had sex only a few times a year. (Oh the joys of long-term commitment!)

No matter how you personally feel when you read these numbers, if your sex life takes a huge nosedive in just 12 short months – and neither you or your partner has been physically maimed – something is seriously wrong.

Isn’t one of the best perks of being in a relationship that you get hassle-free sex pretty much whenever you want? (So long as you’re not in trouble for doing anything wrong…) While the butterflies and excitement of being with your partner may start to dwindle, over time your sex life should really be getting better, as you both get become more in tune with one another and feel comfortable trying new things.

I’ve had a few close friends – all young and able bodied – who were in long-term relationships where the sex had completely died, yet they remained in the relationship for a year or more afterwards. Once they finally broke up, it became all too clear that they and their partner were both unhappy in the relationship. The lesson to be learned here is if the frequency with which you are getting frisky inexplicably fizzles out, you need to talk about what’s causing the issue or consider moving on. Life’s too short to spend a year without intimacy when you’re in a committed relationship.

However, don’t judge yourself too harshly if you aren’t part of the 15 per cent of new couples having sex daily. They must be masters of multitasking and scheduling, or something.

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Jillian Wood

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