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Get over it: How to cure breakup bitterness

T-Swift told boy band, One Direction to STFU at the VMA's. Why so bitter Taylor?
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Bobby Box, August 28, 2013 7:10:17 AM

This past Sunday at the VMAs (dont worry, this story has nothing to do with Miley), T-Swift and gal-pal Selena Gomez were all XOXO GOSSIP GIRL during the entire show. This observation was proven by the cameraman who seemed to be filming Swift all night.

Perhaps the most hilarious/uncharacteristic reaction of hers during the showwhich was caught on film, of course, was when she told One Direction to Shut the f*** up while they were on stage presenting. Aside from the fact that I had uttered the exact same thing during that time, this isnt about me.

In case you were born under a rock, Swift dated 1Der, Harry Styles. And if her reaction doesnt state the obvious, I will. GIRL IS BITTER. While she will no doubt make millions off this bitterness through songwriting, T-Swifts image is near-angelic; and angels dont say the f-word, obviously. It hurt her image and her perceived innocencewhich was substantially built when Kanye publicly humiliated her at the same award show four years ago.

Rushing to her defense, Swift fans are claiming she actually said sorry for my arm, which is hilariously inaccurate. Truth is, shes allowed to be bitter, we all are. I actually like her a lot more after watching the clip. Shes human. And kind of a bitch.

Later in the night, Swift accepted the award for Best Female Video, and said in true, bitter ex behaviour, I want to thank the person who inspired this song because he knows exactly who he is, because now I’ve got one of these.” The camera then zoomed in on Styles, while his bandmates were by his side giggling like British schoolboys, which they just so happen to be.

So how can we bottle up that post-breakup bitterness and send it out to sea? Let me warn you, it isn’t easy.

Accept that it wasnt meant to be
This will be tough to do when the breakup is still fresh, but after a week or so, it shouldnt be too hard to see that if you and your partner were soul-mates, a split wouldnt have happened. I know this can sound like a huge load of B.S., but it does help when trying to move forward from hating somebody who hurt you so badly. To aid in this process, take some time to do things that you wanted to do for yourself, but your ex wasnt too keen on, like buying that pair of expensive shoes you wanted, or taking that much-deserved trip to Italy youve been Googling for years.

Confide in friends and family
Though this can seem obvious, the reality is that after a breakup, many people further recede into loneliness and spend their evenings crying over old Facebook photos. Aside from watching Teen Mom to feel better about your particular circumstance, I suggest you plan evenings out with friends or even movie nights at home with some wine and finger foods. Its the gift of gab, and it will make you feel less lonely. Should you choose to sulk alone, you may soon feel that not only does your former partner no longer love you, but nobody else does either. Force yourself to reach out, you’ll feel better, faster.

Examine what ended the relationship
Obviously, it is a lot easier to focus on how your partner failed you in the relationship. After you believe youve logically processed these feelings and have attained the support you need to tolerate them, you must then look at yourself and how you may have contributed to the breakup. Were you too aloof? Too clingy? Were you kind of bossy? Accepting the fleeting fact that this relationships demise was not only their fault will subdue resentment you feel towards your ex. Also, identifying these characteristics in yourself will assist you in future relationships.

Find something your passionate about
A good way to get over bitterness is to set your sights on a specific goala promotion, new career path, volunteering, etc. Setting your sights on another passion will help you get over whatever passion you had with your ex. Not only will this help you get over your ex, but, depending on the success of your new passions, you may eventually become thankful for the breakup.

Lastly, you can always use this bitterness to motivate you physically. Just make em jealous. Or, if you happen to be super famous, write a song about them and win an award for it, then further rub their faces in it in front of millions of viewers while accepting said award.

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