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Fact: One in seven people are "settling"

Why the average person doesn't end up with the love of their life.
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Jillian Wood, September 10, 2013 7:32:03 AM

A recent poll conducted at the Siemens Festival Nights (which is a three day opera event in London) polled 2,000 adults to discuss their relationships and dating history.

The most startling discovery from the survey was that one in seven people in long term relationships did not consider the person they were with to be a "love of their life."
Of those who weren’t satisfied with their current partner, they said that they "settled" because their true love had previously slipped through their fingers.

And the average number of times both men and women polled said they had fallen "head over heels" in love in their lifetime? Twice.

So, if you happen to be boyfriend or girlfriend number three, should you be worried about getting your own happily ever after ending?

Well, you aren’t necessarily doomed to walk the earth alone: more than half of the respondents felt that while they may have thought they were in love in the past, after looking back they realize it wasn’t the "real thing." (Then again 60 per cent of respondents did say it only takes 10 weeks to know if someone is a true love that’s only two and half months!)

We already know most people usually don’t marry the person they consider to be their best lay. There could also be an argument made that people are pretty picky these days, and maybe settling isn’t such a bad thing after all.

But what if your partner is "settling" for you, and you don’t even know it? What if you think your partner is a true love, and they think you’ll do fine "for now?" Could you live in the shadow of a long lost love?

Here’s a few signs that you may be that unlucky one in seven couples.

1. They still talk about their ex.
Talking about an ex is okay now and then. But if they bring them up constantly, they may not be ready to move onno matter how long ago the break up was. Even if they’re just talking trash about their ex, it’s still a bit unhealthy if they have a past lover on their mind 24/7. Try pointing out to your partner that you feel like they’re mentioning their ex a lot, and ask them if there’s anything they’d like to talk about. If they apologize and never say anything about him or her again, you’re in the clear. If it doesn’t stop after this not-so-subtle hint, you need to consider ending it. Someone who is really into you will rarely think about their ex.

2. They have unrealistic expectations about love and romance.
If your partner has watched The Notebook so often they can quote the entire impassioned love declaration Noah makes in the rain, you may have a problem on your hands. Books, movies and television shows tend to portray idealistic romantic relationships, which can give some people unrealistic expectations about love in the real world. If they pester you for grand gestures, seem constantly disappointed by your efforts, or compare you to other couples (real or fictitious) you may want to try getting them into new genres of film and literatureor, try getting the heck out of your melodramatic relationship.

3. They pick fights or create issues just because they can.
Does your partner start arguments over things that really shouldn’t matter, or never even happened (i.e. offenses that are made up in their head)? If their mood swings seem unwarranted, they may be trying to cause drama to spice things up or to test your love, which isn’t easy to deal with. They may associate fighting with passionate lovesomething they most likely experienced with a former flame. They may see your stability as a sign that a "spark" is missing. This person isn’t ready for a real, mature, long-term relationship. Cut your losses and run for the hills (or into the arms of someone who isn’t harbouring feelings for a long lost love that can never be).

It should be noted that these responses came from people who obviously like opera. Leave it to drama lovers to pine for "the one that got away" for an eternity!

How does your love history compare to the average?


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