When dating someone new, most of us like to get the “deal breakers” out of the way early. While you can’t help who you fall madly in love with, you certainly can choose not to date them.
Fun, interesting questions always come out on a first date. What do you do for fun? Who’s your favourite band? Do you like cats? The answers to these questions probably won’t make or break a relationship. But what about money? Is it acceptable to ask your date about his or her financial situation? Naturally, most of us shudder at the thought – I mean, it’s so obviously inappropriate – but if we were honest with ourselves, knowing the answer could save years of hassle.
Pssst – here are a few of our favourite money tips and topics to get you started.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you flat out ask your date how much money they make. That would be totally rude. A not-so-subtle “What’s your credit score like?” isn’t exactly standard over a bread basket, either. But it certainly doesn’t hurt to ask a few questions and pay attention to the signs. Start by asking questions like “Where do you want to be in five years?” If the answer is somewhere far-removed from where he or she is today, ask how they plan on getting there. The answer should tell you a little bit about how clear-sighted your date is.
If he tells you that he plans on becoming a multi-millionaire and starts rattling off get-rich-quick scams, you know that’s your cue to leave. If she doesn’t mention a job of any sort, but kids and a husband, then you know she expects her partner to provide for her. Perhaps the answer to these questions show your date for who they really are – which is sometimes a big dreamer with no plans.
If those questions don’t give you enough to go on, look for these signs. Does she have expensive taste – fancy shoes and designer jeans – but no money? Is he currently unemployed with a three-page resume? Is she a bad tipper? How did his last relationship end? According to your date, whose fault was it?
While some of these questions might be uncomfortable to ask, if the answers are deal-breakers, you might want to ask them early on. Ultimately, you should go with your gut. Mine has rarely steered me in the wrong direction.