Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last 24-hours, you may have noticed the sports media has exploded over Deadspin’s investigative bombshell exposing Notre Dame star linebacker Manti Te’o‘s long-celebrated, tear-filled story line regarding his girlfriend who died was a complete hoax. Sure, it’s not clear yet whether the Heisman candidate was in on the elaborate and completely batsh!t crazy bamboozle or not but this thing isn’t going anywhere any time soon. When you fool everyone from Sports Illustrated to CBS Sports to ESPN, you have no favourable media coverage in your future. Dude could be drafted No. 1 overall and commentators will say, “Annd the Kansas City Chiefs pick the big, fat lying liar who tells lies…”
But this got me thinking, is there a real sports story you actually wish was a hoax? Here’s five I wish were utterly and completely fictions of someone else’s imagination:
1. The Magic Hour— A magician on the basketball court. A complete disaster as a late night TV host. The show was canceled after only two months, but was alive long enough for Magic’s own sidekick Craig Shoemaker to call the show an “absolute nightmare,” and to hit astronomical heights of pop culture mockery thanks to Howard Stern and MadTV.
2. Theo Fleury, country singer— We’re huge fans of the former Calgary Flames and New York Rangers star but this… this is too much. You know the old saying, “Never meet your heroes”? There should also be one that says, “Never let your heroes sing, unless that hero is your hero because of their singing.” OK, doesn’t quite roll off the tongue, but you get the point.
3. Shaq Diesel— The year? 1993. The music? Terrible. This will give you ear rabies.
4. Brett Favre Sexting Scandal—Sorry, did you just say that a future Hall of Famer NFL quarterback got caught texting pictures of his junk to a female employee of the New york Jets? Right, OK, wanted to make sure I didn’t mishear you. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. This will give you eye rabies.
5. Alexander Daigle—Am I right, Sens fans? This will give you hockey rabies.