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You can get a lot for $425. A fancy-schmancy espresso machine. A purebred puppy. Half a trip to Cuba. So we have to ask ourselves… would we be willing the shell out nearly half a grand on a grimy new pair of jeans?

Nordstrom thinks we will.

The department store known for selling sock-sandal high heels, clear-knee mom jeans and regular old rocks at ridiculously hefty prices is at it again. This time, the retailer has introduced jeans that are sullied up with fake mud.

That’s right, for the price of $425 you too can look like a construction worker or dog walker whose St. Bernard just dragged him through a landfill. And to think, you can get the entire look with none of the stink associated with regular old mud.

These “heavily distressed” Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans are described as pants for men that “embody rugged, American workwear that’s seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating.” And hey — there’s free shipping. If you live in the States, anyway.

Yeah so we have no idea who thought up this one, but we have to wonder what their thought process was like. How did that internal conversation go? We have to imagine it went something like, “Hey, nothing is sexier than a man who wants to get down and dirty… I know, let’s avoid all of that unnecessary labour and just bring the mud to the man?”

Or something like that. Like, you know your branding has a problem when the guy who is literally known for tackling every single dirty job on the planet is offended by your jean smears.

“Forget the jeans themselves for a moment, and their price, and look again at the actual description. ‘Rugged Americana’ is now synonymous with a ‘caked-on, muddy coating. Not real mud. Fake mud. Something to foster the illusion of work. The illusion of effort. Or perhaps, for those who actually buy them, the illusion of sanity,” Mike Rowe ranted on his Facebook page. “The Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans aren’t pants. They’re not even fashion. They’re a costume for wealthy people who see work as ironic – not iconic.”

He’s not the only one freaking out either.

What’s next? Muddied boots? Junked-out jackets? Just how far are they looking to take this trend? Here’s one thing we know for sure, we hope the (425) buck(s) stops here.

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