Hey, guys, if you’re looking to score with the ladies, forget the flowers and chocolates. And you might as well scrap your dignity too. That’s all so old school.
The modern way to a woman’s heart, we’re now told, is through lowering her social value in relation to yours. So the next time you catch the eye of someone you’re interested in, reel her in with such bon mots as “Your roots are showing” and “You know, you look just like my little sister. Weird.”
It’s called negging, and it’s fool-proof.
Well, according to the Pick-Up Artist community, anyway. (Not to be confused with the Pick-up Truck Community, which views romance as a mix of country songs, hooch and gun racks.)
If you’re new to this scene – and if you have evolved at all past Early Cave Man you probably are – the Pick-Up Artist community is the self-proclaimed realm of God’s Gift to Women, populated by guys with names like Braddock, Keychain and Tenmagnet.
Their real gift is “teaching” (defined here as “fleecing”) average Joes who want to have better luck (“more sack time”) with the ladies. They sell DVDs, books and seminars, showing us the secrets of such wonders as non-verbal sexual mind control, a theme done to death in ‘70s porn.
In essence, they see themselves as masters of the indecent proposal – without the looks, charisma, money or sex appeal of Robert Redford.
Now, unlike that 1990s movie that had women in a tizzy long before 50 Shades of Grey was even a twinkle in E.L. James’ bullwhip, the Pick-Up Artist community approach won’t be breaking any box office or bookstore sales records. Not with its emphasis on negging (not to be confused with jeggings, which are similarly an affront to women everywhere).
Like nuclear power, and just as radioactive for women, negging should be used for good, not evil, advocates Jesse Charger, the “brains” (defined as “the guy who lives in a basement with roommates nicknamed “Mom” and “Dad” ”) behind the Seduction Science website.
Heavy on “science,” (defined as “hilariously stupid advice that explains why Pink wrote U and Ur Hand”), it says negging is ideal for “really hot girls – 8s, 9s, and 10s. For an average girl (6s, 7s), you don’t want to use value zingers. All you need to do is demonstrate social value – you don’t need to lower hers. Hers wasn’t that high to begin with.”
Heated up now, ladies?
If not, maybe a lesson in the new language of love will help. It’s all about acronyms in the PUA (Pick-Up Artist) community: AMOG (Alpha Male of Group), SNL (Single or Same Night Lay), LMR (Last Minute Resistance), etc. Here’s one more you will certainly become familiar with if you get involved with these creeps: STI.
Suddenly those flowers and chocolates don’t seem so bad, huh? They may be old school, alright, but at least the lesson comes from people who have actually dated a real, live woman.