Dominika and Valeria have big plans. They figure if the Kardashians can rake in mega bucks from reality shows, perfume and fashion endorsements, and short-term marriages etc., then, for these two dolls, fame and fortune should be as easy as a lunchtime lipo session. You see, Dominika and Valeria really look like dolls. Barbie dolls. Photos of the pair, who refer to themselves as “spiritual sisters”, are riveting. It’s like watching performance art. Their skin is Malibu-tanned and as taut as a snare drum. The de-rigueur blonde hair is Barbie plentiful and has the right kind of dense, plasticky look. Breasts are, of course, pneumatic and highly extroverted. Their level of Barbie mastery even extends to the pupils which look flat and dead, an effect likely caused by wearing special contact lenses, or, perhaps, a side effect of second and third helpings of Botox with a chaser of snake venom. Well done, ladies!
Girls, I say, skip Hollywood and go straight to Art Basel where you are sure to be the belles of the ball. The place is rank with rich, art loving, tycoons. One of them is bound to adopt you and keep you in the style to which you wish to become accustomed. Plus, the hours are a lot better. Who wants to get up at 5 o’clock? And the craft services aren’t what they used to be.
Dominika and Valeria are not the only women who have resorted to extreme plastic surgery to become objects of desire/derision. Who can forget the famous New York socialite, Joycelyn Wildenstein? An attractive Swiss from a middle-class background, Joycelyn married Alec Wildenstein, a billionaire art collector. Alec loved lions and kept them as pets. In order to keep Alec, Joycelyn decided to look like one herself. Scores of surgeries later, she does. But not in a good way.
Naturally, many parents hate Barbie, fearing that their little girls will develop a poor body image as they compare themselves to a plastic doll. And, it’s true, Barbie sets a high benchmark. Not only does she have perfect skin, abundant hair (head only, no need for plucking, waxing, electrolysis or lasering), thighs to kill for and dainty hands and feet, she is also an accomplished career woman. Since she started working—from the day she was born in 1959!—she’s been a paleontologist, paratrooper, Spanish language instructor and astronaut. She’s even worked as a Mountie. (Only in Canada, horse not included).
Okay, maybe Barbie is not the best role model for girls. But, hey, it’s not like you can hide all the good-looking dolls in the toy shop and only show your kids the dumpy dolls wearing dowdy clothes—or worse, normal dolls that look just like them.Boring! For that matter, neither can you hide all the stuffed animals—the pretty, velvety lions,monkeys and teddy bears. Just maybe your kid will find the sea lion alluring and— flash forward 20 years— she’s at the plastic surgeon’s office asking for external ear flaps and flippers.
It could happen.
Image credit: BuzzFeed