It’s not easy being the younger, less appreciated sister of a mega superstar. Just ask Solange Knowles.
So imagine your older sister is Jessica Simpson, blonde, beautiful billionairess and soon-to-be mom of two adorable offspring. And you are best known for blowing your career on Saturday Night Live and procreating with Pete Wentz, a man who looks like a distant relative of the globe-trotting garden gnome from Amelie.
Throw in a divorce and a whole lot of family drama and you’ve got a recipe for C-list meltdown.
No surprise, then, that Ashlee Simpson has reportedly gone a little wild in the wake of her recent split from Boardwalk Empire star Vincent Piazza.
Star magazine, that bastion of investigative journalistic integrity, reports that the 28-year-old went a little Lohan on a recent night out at da club. Observe:
“She was downing drinks like there was no tomorrow,” an eyewitness, who claims they spotted the star throwing back cocktails at Pink Taco, exclusively dished to Star.
“She asked for a straight shot and added it to her already mixed cocktail.”
The article goes on to say that Ashlee proceeded to “grind” on random guys.
Uh… she sounds like someone in her 20s? I don’t know. Help me out here. Didn’t we all do this at some point in our young, stupid days?
And yeah, she has a son at home, but as long as someone responsible is looking after him while mommy gets her drink n’ grind on, I don’t see the big deal here.
Just as long as this is nothing more than a fun girls’ night out and not the beginning of a Christina Aguilera-style six-month bender. Because we’ve all seen evidence of what that looks like, and trust us, Ashlee, you don’t want to go there. It makes a French garden gnome family reunion look positively quaint by comparison.