Some things just never die: true love, Shakespeare’s sonnets, Die Hard. We were first introduced to John McClane in 1988, as the hard cop with a soft heart, willing to run around barefoot and sans-sleeves in order to stop terrorists who came in the shape of Alan Rickman. Now, 25 years later, McClane is still running around, but the joy is all but gone. Getting lackluster reviews, it seems like Die Hard might want to go softly into the night, or at least kick up its heels on a beach in Florida somewhere. But Bruce Willis, the franchise’s heart and soul, has another idea. Hinting at more Die Hard films to come, we’re now faced with the dilemma of what to call the next foray into nostalgic mediocrity. Enter: Vulture.
Putting their coding skills to the best use possible, the site made a “Die Hard Sequel Generator.” After the 1990 sequel, the franchise dropped the normally affixed number to indicate what chapter of McClane’s adventures we we’re following and instead got poetic (or punny): Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995), Live Free or Die Hard (2007), and now the most current film. Concerned the producers might be straining for idioms to appropriate, Vulture’s generator can lend a helping hand: Roll the Die Hard, Die Hardermaus, Dying is Easy Comedy is Die Hard). The possibilities are endless…oh no…what have they done?!