Full disclosure: I hate horror movies. Okay, not all horror movies (I really liked Ben Wheatley’s Kill List and Michael Haneke’s Funny Games), but I can’t handle the kind of extreme gore in film franchises like Saw or Hostel (I’ve never even seen a trailer for Human Centipede but just thinking about the film’s concept seriously disturbs me). That said, I totally understand how much fun it is to be scared by a movie. What isn’t fun are the nightmares about night vision goggles one might be plagued with a good 15 years after renting Silence of the Lambs. Luckily, for those of you that don’t have to stomach to sit through Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead, there’s an animated version that basically hits all the major plot points (so you can still follow along with the conversations that all your horror-film-loving friends will be having now that the Evil Dead reboot has hit theatres).
Made for only $90,000, the low-budget cult classic that kicked off what has so far become a four-film Evil Dead franchise now has a one-and-a-half-minute cartoon Cliffs Notes version featuring comfortingly cartoon-y blood spatters and severed limbs. Also, it’s narrated by a child who I’d guess to be about six or seven years of age. Cute, right?
The animated short maintains the same message as the first Evil Dead (cabins are dangerous, trees aren’t your friends, reading old books is for dummies with death wishes), but the ending is happier. Unlike in Raimi’s 1981 original, where the film finishes off with a thought-to-be-defeated-demon descending upon the movie’s one remaining character, the animated version ends with Ash walking off into the sunset. “All was well in the woods,” proclaims the clips narrator, “other than all the dead teenagers.”