Wednesday’s episode of Suburgatory, “How to Be a Baby,” saw the end of Noah and Jill’s marriage (at least for now), and Dalia helping Mr. Wolfe get back at Chef Alan for cheating on him.
Dalia, who’s endured her share of heartbreak, if not silently, knew exactly what Mr. Wolfe needed when she found him throwing out all his stuff because it reminded him of Chef Alan. She saved Wolfe from wasting a ton of money (and being a bit of an eco-terrorist, because he really should have had a garage sale) by taking him to the spa instead. With the help of her hairdresser, Dalia gave Mr. Wolfe the magenta tips he needed to look fabulous and show Chef Alan what he’d walked away from. Dalia knows her break up coping mechanisms — Mr. Wolfe was spared the break-up haircut, the break-up binge eat, and the break-up mopes by Dalia’s genius.
But then again, this episode was all about revealing more to the parody characters than we usually get. As she is her new intern, Tessa spent a lot of time with Jill this half hour. Jill was the heinous, frigid, vapid, terrifying monstrosity she’s always described as until the very end, when Tessa recognized that Jill’s tightly controlled almond regimen is how she deals with hating herself. Just as Jill revealed the chink in her armour, Dalia came as close to emotional expression as she’s ever gone, and worked hard to spare Mr. Wolfe her pain. And Dallas, who has surprised me every week, proved once again she has the biggest heart.
Of course, the big-ticket issue was Noah’s revelation that he’s in love with Carmen. George tried to distract Noah from his obsession by taking him to the so-called “best place” for baklava. (Since it wasn’t my yiayia’s kitchen, I seriously doubt it was anything more than edible.) In the end, George realized he was trying to save Noah’s marriage because he knew what it felt like to be left by someone, and Noah finally felt free enough to announce he was leaving Jill — right in the middle of her first book signing. Like Tessa, I found myself feeling bad for her, but Jill took George’s advice and turned her heartbreak into a new novel almost immediately. I’m beginning to suspect Jill is Taylor Swift’s future.
Finally, the Suburgatory writers did a great job ripping off The Notebook when Noah confessed his love to Carmen, catching her as she was cleaning Dallas’s unnaturally spacious bathroom. As a pipe burst and water rained down on the pair, we learned that Carmen once had an AOL account, but has since learned the errors of her ways. She also only likes Noah as a boss. Heartbroken at this news, Noah argued with Carmen about where he could best stand to watch her mop and the world righted itself. We’ll see if Noah goes back to Jill (most likely), or finally frees Opus from the Lion King ribcage crib that Jill keeps him in so she can study baby behaviour.
Suburgatory airs Wednesdays at 9:30 p.m. ET on City/ABC.