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New cosmetic surgery promises Superman six-pack abs, sad self-worth

Forget speeding bullets and locomotives - everyone knows the real test of Superman's power lies in how well his six-pack is sculpted.
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Sarah Robinson, June 28, 2013 4:00:54 PM

Men may be from Mars, but they’re still after Superman’s Krypton-created abs. Trying to emulate a superhero is one thing – and many a kid has learned their lesson trying to “fly” from a height – but being bombarded by the taut, glistening muscles of the latest mere mortal to star in a tired reboot is quite another.

It should go without saying that body image issues are just as pervasive and damaging to men as they are to women. Just take a look at Terry Crews’ traps (how has his neck not collapsed under the pressure?). But the hot new plastic surgery on the block should quash any remaining doubt.

A British plastic surgery clinic has launched what they’re calling the first-ever “4-D liposuction” treatment to meet male clients’ soaring demand for body sculpting. It seems banishing the barrel with plain ol’ liposuction isn’t cutting it anymore.

This new treatment removes fat and transfers it to other areas of the body (insta-pecks, anyone?), but then takes it a step further by sculpting the abdominal muscles to create the six-pack that just takes too darn long to gestate in the gym. Men can have their cake and eat it, too, while looking like they haven’t touched a carb in decades.

Better make it a nice cake. With a price tag of more than $10,000, chances are there won’t be any fancy pastries on the table for a while after the surgery.

The Brits may have been beaten North Americans to the pumped-up procedural punch, but male demand for plastic surgery is hardly elusive on this side of the pond.

According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, cosmetic surgery increased more than three per cent in 2012 with 1.7 million procedures. Men made up 10 per cent of that total, with liposuction ringing in as the most popular surgery.

Though no official statistics exist for Canada alone, the 2011 Global Study Study of Aesthetic/Cosmetic Surgery Procedures ranked Canada 15th in the world for its number of plastic surgeries.

Dr. Wayne Carman, the former president of the Canadian Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, told CTV’s Canada AM that male demand for cosmetic surgery often runs deeper than self-esteem – many feel looking younger will help them professionally.

“The potential for advancement and for remaining in an authority position can be undermined if you look kind of weak and old and tired. So that’s where our work comes in to help them with that,” Carman said in a 2011 interview.

So, gentlemen, the next time Superman’s abs threaten to bum you out, go revel in Seth Rogen’s latest flick for funny, flab solidarity. But steer clear of Ryan Gosling movies for a while. No knife could ever hope to replicate the perfect “Hey Girl.”

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