It's easy: What's your ideal banana in the picture below? Pick a number and then find out below what it says about your entire existence.
1. “F*ck it” is your most common refrain.
2. You love the Bulk Barn and you always have all your Christmas shopping done in November. Sometimes, when you’re driving alone, you’ll crank “Life is a Highway” and roll down the windows and sing really loud because live in the moment, right? You think of good comebacks to rude people 24 hours after the fact.
3. You’ve never kissed anyone on the first date. Okay, there was that one time you did and afterwards, while you were lying in bed watching Felicity, you made a five-year plan and now you are a boss of something who never watches reruns, expect if it’s Grey’s Anatomy.
4. You are a no-nonsense bitch! Sometimes this comes across as icy. But your heart is solid gold. Self control, however, is a major problem for you. Also, you don’t really remember the bunny boiling scene in Fatal Attraction—just the part when Michael Douglas and Glenn Close do it on the sink.
5. You were always the teacher’s pet. One time, in Grade 3, you didn’t get 100 per cent on a spelling quiz.You thought this was entirely unfair because it was a pop quiz so how could you have prepared? You petitioned the grade, unsuccessfully—but don’t worry because today you’ve lightened up and sometimes eat expired foods.
6. Life hasn’t always been easy for you. But you’re a glass-is-half-full kind of person who sees the bright side—except when it comes to unnecessary movie sequels and franchises. Also, you’re probably gifted but you feel a bit sheepish about always being right about everything.
7. Everyone always wants to be your best friend. But you’re tired. So tired. You just want a moment to yourself. Where does the time go? What happens when we die? A loved one once planned a surprised birthday party for you and you were mortified and you never wear open-toed shoes to work.
8. You are carefree AF except when people litter. Littering drives you bananas. If you see someone drop a piece of garbage on the street you will pick it up and return it to them, usually with a passive aggressive “Oh excuse me, I think you dropped this,” as you hand it back to them and triumphantly walk away like you’re living in a movie.
9. Your confidence in the bedroom is astounding. Definitely prefer cats to dogs. You once broke up with somebody after they suggested Carrie should’ve ended up with Aiden and not Big.
10. Three words: Big Dick Energy.
11. You’d rather book a cruise than organize a vacation. When you’re journaling, you listen to Enya. When you’re making love, it’s Sade. You’re probably working on a novel, which you tweet about regularly.
12. “Johnny Depp is still the sexiest man alive” is something you often say with your girlfriends when you’re drinking off-dry riesling around your (in-ground) pool.
13. You love Disney movies. This has been problematic for you at work because you’re always quoting them to your colleagues who don’t get the references. All you’ve ever really wanted is to fit in. You love a branded T-shirt, especially if it was free.
14. You eat peanut butter straight out of the jar. You don’t even signal when you’re changing lanes.
15. You had loving parents and a beautiful childhood. You always felt safe. But your parents, who most likely home-schooled you, denied you all forms of sugar. When you discovered sweets as an adult, you lost your sh*t. You get excited when Starbucks comes out with a new frapp and have never looked up the calorie count on a Timmy’s iced capp. Sometimes you feel late to the party, like when you recently wondered what Mario Batali has been up to and then you Googled it. But you make a mean banana bread.