The Crave original series Letterkenny may focus on the residents of a town of 5,000 people in mid-western Ontario, but the life lessons shared on the quintessentially Canadian series can be applied to just about anyone. Before you tell us to pump the breaks on this theory and start chirpin’ that we don’t know what we’re talking about, face the facts. If there was a tournament for doling out helpful life lessons, Letterkenny would take home the ship.
Here are 10 life lessons according to Letterkenny.
IT’S IMPOLITE TO KISS AND TELL
But if you’re going to kiss and tell, make sure you introduce every sexual activity with the phrase, “I don’t mean to be impolite” before going into detail. This is especially true when there’s attentions paid to the butt hole.
KNOW YOUR CANCON
You can’t call yourself a true Canadian unless you can carry on a conversation based entirely on song titles and lyrics by some of the country’s greatest musical icons. In the words of Grammy and JUNO-winning, best-selling country female icon Shania Twain, “Don’t be stupid.”
RESPECT CANADA’S NATIONAL BIRD
Gooses or geeses, it’s important to pay the proper respect to Canada’s national bird, even if the aggressive animal poops all over this beautiful country. Like, all over. How many Canadian geese are there in the world at this time? One billion? Two?
FIGHT WITH WORDS, NOT FISTS
Whether you’re trying to protect your sisters from dating no-good hockey players or simply standing your ground in a pair of cut offs, fights should be handled with words, not fists. But if things escalate to fists, use the bathroom first.
Eating healthy is important and eating organic is ideal. But smoking darts really negates all those efforts.
HAVE A CHEAT DAY
If you do eat healthy, it’s important to still have a cheat day even when you trying to add gains to impress your coach and win a hockey ship.
EMBRACE THE COLD
We live in Canada, which means half of the year is spent in boots, blankets and balaclavas, because a bloody bitter breeze will blow blistery and bleak. White outs and windchills, walk it off, whiners. Get outside and enjoy the snow, just don’t you dare doddle dilly dally your dick around after dark in December. Or anytime, really.
DEAL WITH YOUR FEELINGS
If you don’t deal with your feelings, you’ll likely end up taking your anger out on someone else. Maybe your loved one, maybe a stranger, maybe a hockey player named Riley who makes you wish you were watching a paper cut in slow-mo rather than staring at his face. So, you know, feel your feelings.
THERE’S NO WRONG WAY TO FIND LOVE
When you’re looking for love, there’s no wrong way to find your soul mate. Maybe you meet at the produce stand, maybe you meet in the ice arena, maybe you meet on a reality show while competing with 20 other people. Just don’t say no to love.
DO NOT TAKE CELINE DION’S NAME IN VAIN
If you’re going to speak about the great Celine Dion, you better be doing it with a non-hostile tone.
Want more? Fans of the hilarious Canadian series will get a special treat this holiday season with the new special A Letterkenny Christmas: The Three Wise Men, which is available for streaming on Crave starting November 23. The holiday spirit of giving continues, with a fresh six-pack of new episodes of Letterkenny dropping on Crave on Christmas Day. The first five seasons of Letterkenny, along with special episodes “Ferda Edition”, “The Haunting of MoDean’s II”, “St. Perfect’s Day,” “Super Hard Easter,” and the original web series Letterkenny Problems, are currently streaming on Crave.