10 things your kids will bring home from school that are worse than homework

Ah, the start of a new school year. Forms to sign, nerves to calm, teachers to meet, lunches to pack, alarms to set, and – oh, joy – plenty of homework to get through. But wait, there’s more! To celebrate the most studious of seasons, we’ve compiled a list of 10 awesome things your kids will likely bring home this year, all of which are way, way worse than homework. Did you think you had this back-to-school thing under control? Yeah…not so much. You’re welcome.

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10 things your kids will bring home from school that are worse than homework

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  LICE

  Head lice, pinworms and fungi, oh my! Children are gross, and it’s unlikely that you’ll escape having kids in grade school without succumbing to at least a few bouts of creepy crawlies. The good news? Most icky stuff is easily treatable, although lice is apparently getting more resistant to medication. Grrrrrreat.Shutterstock

• ANNOYING NEW PALS

  Far be it from us to suggest that your kids shouldn’t make friends at school, but let’s face it: some of their newfound pals will just plain get on your nerves. Eating you out of house and home? Not listening? Backtalk? Drawing on the walls? Been there. Shutterstock

• COLOURFUL LANGUAGE

  Whether you’re laissez-faire about swearing or have a strict no-profanity rule in your household, there’s a good chance that sooner or later, your kids will come home rocking some contentious new vocabulary. Take a deep breath and put down the soap bar – some scientists actually suggest that teaching kids to swear is a good thing.Shutterstock

• EYEBROW-RAISING URLS

  Inappropriate websites, ads, videos and memes – they’ll all be news to your (previously) innocent kiddo, whose peers will no doubt turn them onto plenty of questionable content this year. Fair warning: kids without older siblings won’t know what hit them. Shutterstock

• BAD-ITTUDE

  If your formerly polite, sweet, enthusiastic child suddenly develops a major case of the I-don’t-wannas, we’re guessing they’ve picked up some fun new ideas about how to behave from their peers at school. Dang other people’s children!Shutterstock

• VIRUSES AND GENERAL CONTAGION

  Sore throat? Sniffles? Inexplicable fatigue? There’s a good chance that you’ll succumb to at least a few colds, coughs and viruses this school year. Vitamin C, plenty of rest and hand washing help, but kids’ lack of awareness re: infection prevention guarantees that you’ll get hit with some doozies.Shutterstock

• NEWFOUND DESIRE FOR THE NEXT BIG THING

  Remember fidget spinners? Sneakers with light-up soles? DIY slime? If you’ve had a child come home coveting stuff they had no idea they “needed” before, welcome to the club. Also not surprising to us: materialism accelerates as kids hit middle school.Shutterstock

• EARWORMS

  The internet has given us many gifts, but we don’t count The Duck Song or It’s Raining Tacos among them. Cringe-inducing, horrifyingly catchy YouTube songs and videos go viral for a reason, but definitely seem explicitly designed to drive parents crazy. Snag two sets of headphones – one for the kid, and one for you to tune ‘em out.Shutterstock

• LAST-MINUTE REQUESTS

  It’s Thursday night, the kids are in bed and you’ve settled in with a good book when suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. “Mom?” a child whispers. “I forgot. I said you’d make two dozen cupcakes for the bake sale...tomorrow at noon.” Cue heart palpitations, followed by an 11pm trip to the only open supermarket in town. Thanks, kid.Shutterstock

• NOTHING AT ALL

  If you think a backpack full of homework is stress-inducing, consider its opposite: a totally empty bag. Where did lunch go? Water bottle? Important papers? The indoor shoes? Queries regarding missing contents will be met with a blank stare; chances are they’ve been sucked into the Lost and Found vortex. Shutterstock