It always seems like a great idea at first, doesn’t it? Shared responsibilities, shared costs, shared chores…heck, probably even shared friends. We’re talking about your brand new roommate, of course. That best friend who has probably been with you through thick and thin and will now be living with you as you face the big bad world (and all its unexpected costs) as an official grown up.
Chances are you you’ve been smart and you know that your roommate is someone you can probably get along with. No Felix and Oscar à la The Odd Couple pairing for you. (Although we’d sort of jump at the chance to live with Matthew Perry.)
That doesn’t mean you’re not going to have your share of ridiculous, completely stupid arguments about what will in retrospect be the smallest, teeniest things. Things that at the end of the day, only roommates can understand.
Who left what dirty dish in the damned sink
There’s a difference between letting a pot soak and allowing plates to stack up for three days straight. Unless you’re Monica Geller, we’re pretty sure doing dishes ain’t your thang. Unfortunately, it’s probably not theirs, either.
When they borrowed your dress and didn’t wash it
Female roommate = bonus extra wardrobe, right? Sure, right up until you’ve hurried home from work to get ready for that big date you’ve been planning for weeks (right down to the outfit, obviously), only to find out that it’s in the wash. Ever heard feral cats screaming at each other? Nope, that’s just two roomies trying to share clothes.
That time she went out and got herself a cat/dog/hamster/garden snake
But then totally remembered they were leaving town for a week and oh-so-sweetly asked you to watch the thing, forgetting your aversion to being responsible for living things. How many plants have you killed now?
Cleaning up the crap. Literally.
One person is always messier than the other. That’s just the way it works. You guys both seem to be fine with that, right up until … well, you’re not.
When one of your forgot to pay the rent and the cops were almost called
Naturally, the cardinal rule of paying the bills on time is usually forgotten by the person whose name isn’t on the bill.
The overflowing trash
It’s like a game of chicken — how many times can you push that rubbish down in the bin before one of you inevitably HAS to take the thing out? You’d think living in a condo or apartment would make the task easier, right? Wrong. No one wants to have to put their shoes on to go out into the hall. And usually, it ends up being the same person who buckles and does the task. Every. Single. Time.
When they eat all of your food and doesn’t replace it
Remember that morning when you had no milk for your coffee, were somehow out of peanut butter for your bagel, and you couldn’t top off that salad you were packing for work because there was no dressing left? Yeah, it was like another world war had broken out.
Le boyfriend/girlfriend is always around
You didn’t even realize it at first, but slowly your evening gossip sessions turned into long make-out sessions between your roomie and their significant other on the common area couch. Even worse, they took up all of the hot water the following morning, when they were still somehow magically over. Again.
Which one of you is a party pooper
Can you help it if you don’t want an entire clump of people in your living room for pre-drinks each and every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and sometimes Sunday? That’s more mess for you and your non-hungover ass to have to clean up the next morning while somebody is sleeping it off.
Who gets to control the TV
Sure, you both agree on Grey’s Anatomy, but what happens when they want to watch that show you hate and you’re in the mood for some Matthew Perry? Yep. We’re thinking The Odd Couple art imitates life now, doesn’t it?
When you eventually move out
So now that you’ve decided to go your separate ways, who gets the furniture? The aforementioned television set? The pet you’ve both grown to love?
Not to worry, because once it was all divvied up and you split that last bottle of vino, you came to same conclusion as so many roommates past: Through it all, the years just flew by, leaving you with tons of memories of one of the best times of your life.
The Odd Couple premieres Thursday, Feb. 19 at 8:30 p.m. ET on CTV.