It’s awards season, and there’s no bigger heavyweight than Amy Schumer. And no, we’re not referring to that rocking 160-pound bod that can catch a d— whenever she wants. (Although as an aside, amen sister.)
We’re referring to this weekend’s Emmys, of course, and the simple fact that Amy Schumer deserves all of the awards for the red-hot tear she’s been on with the third season of her show, Inside Amy Schumer. This season, by the way, has been the most-watched ever.
As an early indicator of how much Schumer should win a trophy, she already took home the Television Critics Association award for Individual Achievement in Comedy earlier this year (and her show won for Outstanding Achievment in Comedy, too). Plus she racked up some of those young viewers when she hosted the MTV movie awards.
But since the Emmy voters aren’t exactly known for always getting it right (this one’s for you, Tatiana Maslany), here’s just a little proof of how much Schumer totally nails life, and ladies.
Love Your Smile
The Stolen Years Engagement Ring Ad
This parody of every terrible engagement ring ad out there is brutally honest and hilarious. How could it not be, with lines like, “Give her the gift that says, ‘I will keep you waiting for f–king-ever?”
Hey Emmys: Creativity at its finest. Give her the sparkling trophy now, please.
One Night Stands
This split screen reaction to how differently men and women handle one-night stands may be a little extreme (on both sides), but we dare you not to watch with a grin on your face.
Hey Emmys: The clip above is going to be us, if you don’t recognize her mad skills.
The Court of Public Opinion
Amy Schumer as Bill Cosby’s defence attorney is freaking brilliant and pretty much perfect.
Hey Emmys: We all know you’re dying to take a stance against Bill. Do it by awarding this brilliance.
The Universe, explained
Bill Nye the Science Guy helps us all understand that the universe is actually meant as a force to send white women in their twenties messages about their lives in this Secret-inspired parody.
Hey Emmys: The universe told us Amy should win.
Babies and Bustiers
Schumer as a six-year-old with “fetal Red Bull syndrome” doesn’t specifically call out Honey Boo Boo, but we can all see the similarities. Added bonus? Jennifer Coolidge as her mom.
Hey Emmys: You’d better red-neck-ognize.
12 Angry Men
Jeff Goldblum, Paul Giamatti and more debate Schumer’s “hotness” and whether she’s attractive enough to have her own show. Basically, an amazing parody that highlights the treatment of women in the media. We’d call it “a 10.”
Hey Emmys: We know you don’t wanna be seen as 12 Angry dudes, right? Give the gal some love.
Girl, You Don’t Need Makeup
Ever feel like women get mixed messages when it comes to whether they should wear makeup in public? This song (which sways back-and-forth on the subject) answers it all.
Hey Emmys: We can guarantee Amy will be wearing makeup on
prom Emmy night.
Last F–kable Day
Julia Louis-Dreyfus celebrates her last effable day in this absolutely spot-on commentary of women in film and their “hermit crab” vaginas.
Hey Emmys: Give this to Amy now, before she reaches Julia’s status. You’ll be thankful you did.
For everyone out there who has ever started a new workout plan.
Hey Emmys: Because she really needs an excuse to have (maybe) put on those Spanx instead.
Milk Milk Lemonade
Schumer enlists Amber Rose, Method Man and more in this “celebration” of all things bum. Who knew there were so many terms out there for booty?
Hey Emmys: Booties are all the rage and you know it.
For everyone out there who has (or is) a crazy pet owner.
Hey Emmys: This is more than puppy love.