They don’t call it women’s intuition for nothing, so if you suspect your guy is doing something shady, chances are he is. But you don’t just need to trust your gut; now more than ever before, there are so many ways to uncover whether he’s being a dirty dog.
If he’s careless about his wrongdoings, all the better but even if he’s a Slick Rick and has mastered the art of pulling the wool over your eyes, there are still some things even he can’t hide. Sure, there are some things that can be excused (though proceed with caution), but like the bunny in Fatal Attraction there are also signs that can’t, shouldn’t and won’t be ignored. Slam on those brakes, won’t you?
He takes his phone with him to the bathroom.
Sometimes you’re in the middle of a game, and when you gotta go, you gotta go.
He showers as soon as he gets home.
If he just came from the gym or played some sweat-heavy sport, shower away, by all means. But it’s when he is “stuck at work” for 16 hours after a long day of meetings, and day turned into night and when he gets in the door he makes sure you don’t come anywhere near him, then that’s a problem.
He puts his phone face down.
There’s clearly something he does not want you to see but it could be about the surprise party he’s throwing for you.
Everything is password-protected.
It’s one thing to actually protect your phone for security reasons, or to ensure that no one eats up your five precious Candy Crush lives, but if he suddenly starts doing it when he previously didn’t care AND refuses to let you in on the password, beware.
He lost a bunch of weight and now gives a sh*t about the way he looks.
Maybe the latest season of The Biggest Loser inspired him to get into shape. Or a friend got some scary test results back and he figured he would change his lifestyle before he got the same diagnosis. Or a stranger approached him and wanted to give him a makeover. What? It happens.
He starts dressing better.
If he’s gone from the graphic tees, cargo shorts and flip-flops (to which you’ve become accustomed) to smart button-downs, proper-fitting dress pants and shoes cobbled by an actual designer, it might be that he’s trying to catch the eye of someone who isn’t used to his old, grungy wardrobe.
He’s always on social media.
If he’s on Facebook until the wee hours, tweeting on the down-low, or Snapchatting away, it’s never good. The good thing about social media is that we have access to it so we know if you have friended or checked in with another woman. But, hellllo?? He should be getting social with you!
His phone content is a mystery.
If he has a lot of numbers in his phone that aren’t attached to a name, that’s weird, right? Worse yet, if you find an alarming text that asks, “Have you been tested yet?” It may be an elaborate prank but chances are that’s not the case. It doesn’t take a detective to figure out that he’s halfway out the door. Now you just need to kick the rest of him to the curb.
He gets defensive for no reason.
If he lashes out and/or tries to make you feel insecure or that you’re the crazy one for no apparent reason, he is deflecting. It’s sometimes tough to take but he could just be having a bad day. Try and be self-aware enough to know that it’s about him, not you.
He’s always ready with an excuse.
You can never meet up with him because he’s “not sure when he’ll be done work, but I’ll call you after” — and never does. If those reasons are coming up more and more frequently, your antennae is probably already up, rightfully so.
He never deleted his OKCupid account.
He’s probably been spending all his time with you and he simply forgot.
Your friend just matched with him on Tinder
REDDEST OF RED FLAGS:
He mysteriously got an STD.
When he claims to have no idea how he gave you that genital herpes infection, it’s time to tell him to GTFO of your life. For good.