When we last left the dozens of characters on HBO’s record-breaking series Game of Thrones (Sundays at 9 p.m. on HBO Canada), we were on a bit of an upswing. Arya had killed the despicable Walder Frey (but not before serving him Frey pie!), Jon and Sansa had defeated Ramsay Bolton, Cersei was all by her lonesome in her tower after her last child, Tommen, plummeted to his death, and Daenerys was on her way home to reclaim the throne.
Obviously we’ve all been on pins and needles waiting to see what happens next. Especially since the powers that be delayed the seventh season premiere until the summer. Geesh.
Thankfully, as of Sunday night the series is back in full force for seven new episodes, making this a sizzling summer to remember. Well, despite that whole winter thing, at any rate.
Hot on the heels of “Dragonstone,” here are all of the thoughts we had watching the big premiere with our overflowing bowl of popcorn and chalice of wine.
1. That’s so not Walder Frey
Sure, this season could have started with a flashback, but we all know that Arya isn’t just on a mission to right the blows her family has been dealt; she’s also woman of a million faces, thanks to her training. So we had a pretty strong inkling that it was actually her poisoning the entire Frey household, effectively wiping out one of the show’s great houses once and for all. Still, that didn’t make it any less satisfying when she ripped off her mask to look over all of the choking men before her. Winter is here and the North remembers indeed.
2. The army of the undead has giants?!
Okay things are not looking good for the people of Westeros; soon it won’t matter which butt is on that thorny seat if they can’t figure out a way to kill the… dead. Bran, your visions are seriously starting to scare us.
3. Meera has amazing arm strength
We’re not sure how far this girl had dragged Bran by the time they got to The Wall, but thank goodness they finally got there. Someone please pour that girl a glass of vino and give her a massage, pronto. Also, send a message to Sansa and Jon because at this point we’d love another Stark reunion.
4. Looks like there’s some sibling rivalry going on
We love Jon Snow to the moon and back (especially now that the show has pretty much confirmed he’s half Targaryen). But Sansa has put in her dues as well and deserves a say at the table. Perhaps Jon should have run his little forgiveness plan by his sis before announcing it to the rest of the North? That way they could have avoided a very public spat about what do to with the families of traitors. We all know that presenting a unified front is always the way to go when leading a group against the army of the undead, so those two need to figure out their crap.
5. Will nice guys always finish last on this show?
Privately, Sansa had a pretty good point about Jon being too much like Rob and Ned. The nice guys in this series always seem to be betrayed, despite (or because of) their best intentions. Technically Jon was too, when the Night’s Watch got all stabby with him at the end of season five, and he seems to be forgetting that. It’s great that his morals haven’t been compromised by a little thing like death, but Sansa knows just how terrible human nature really is.
6. Speaking of terrible, Littlefinger is such a lurker
Something tells us that Littlefinger is looking to plot his way to the top again, and getting rid of Jon may be the next item on his agenda. In his head, elevating Sansa to the Queen of the North may be one step closer to his own success. Personally we just want to puke at the thought.
7. Cersei is still drinking down that wine
It’s good to know that some things never change on this series. Cersei is obviously still plotting Westeros domination, even though she has no family left to speak of, and wants to create a legacy for herself before she dies. And here poor Jaime just wants to settle down into a state of bliss with his dear old sis.
8. When did Game of Thrones cast Joshua Jackson?
Is it us, or does Euron Greyjoy look like an overly made-up Pacey? Seriously we couldn’t stop staring. Even more importantly, what gift will he possibly find for Cersei that will convince her to marry him and fight Dany together? A secret weapon, perhaps? We’re kind of digging the theory that he’ll uncover Robert Baratheon’s last bastard son, Gendry. We haven’t seen that chap in a while, so his return at this point actually makes a lot of sense…
9. Ed Sheeran sighting!
With all of the excitement over this new season we forgot that the singer was making a guest star appearance on the show. Turns out he’s part of the Lannister guard heading over to the Frey’s to “keep the peace.” We love the little pow-wow he and his group had with Arya — especially when she revealed she was on her way to King’s Landing to kill the queen. They laugh now, but just wait and see.
10. The Hound and the fire = karma
Of all the people to have to look to the flames for answers, of course it was The Hound staring down the embers. Karma, huh? While we’re happy he’s alive and well for now (mostly because we feel like he’s secretly a good guy), we do want him to have a greater mission on this show. Letting him be privy to the Wights seems like a great way for that story to go, does it not?
11. Samwell is the s— cleaner
There are few sequences on Game of Thrones that make us want to vomit. Sure, there are gruesome images and stomach-turning scenes on any given episode. Dark images that sit with us for weeks? Of course. But the sequence of Sam cleaning chamber pots, serving slop and trying not to vomit himself, on repeat, was probably one of the grossest things we’ve ever seen. And if you ask us, that bit went on way too long.
12. Dragonglass, dragonglass everywhere
Thankfully Sam’s interactions with the Maesters proved to be fruitful after he wound up stealing the forbidden books to figure out how to defeat the undead himself. Turns out the Targaryen castle is sitting on a big old pile of dragonglass, and that’s exactly what Jon needs to defeat the White Walkers and their insane army. Let’s hope that message gets to him pronto.
13. Give us some Dany already!
Just when we were wondering where the heck the Mother of Dragons had gone, she popped up with her clan as they were about to dock at the foot of her old castle. Why it’s still empty is beyond us, but we’re happy she’s back and ready to “begin.” That whole scene gave us chills, because now we’ve got lots of great stuff to look forward to. Dany versus Cersei for one. And Jon Snow potentially coming to meet his half-sister, for another. Because what’s better than dragonstone and dragon glass for beating White Walkers? We’d says three giant, fire-breathing dragons would do the trick.
This season is going to be epic.