We moms know that we can’t have it all, that’s why we always feel like we’re failing in at least one part of our lives. But that doesn’t mean we still don’t have to try to be super women every single day. Between carrying the majority of the mental load, caring for our families, running the household and all-too-often also trying to have a career, it feels like we’re constantly on overdrive with little-to-no time left for ourselves.
Here comes the good news: we’re not alone. Plenty of women feel this way, and they always have. And odds are we’re going to continue being our exhausted, fabulous selves until those kids grow up and fly the coop, at which point we’re going to be emotional messes for a whole other variety of reasons. But for now, here are just some of the millions of thoughts that pop into our heads on a daily basis. Because let’s be honest: we all have them.
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
1. *Baby monitor goes off* Shit — what time is it? Nope, don’t check. Just don’t check.
2. *Comes back to bed and lays down.* Crap, gotta pee.
3. Remember to bring up more toilet paper in the morning.
4. Did I remember to brush my teeth before bed? Better check with Hubs that the kids brushed theirs.
5. Big meeting this morning… Is that blouse clean or was that the one with the puke on it?
6. Dammit, forgot to pack the daycare bag before bed. Okay I’ll just reset my alarm and get up earlier.
7. Eff. It’s 3 a.m.? Only two more hours of sleep…
9. Do I really need to wash my hair this morning, or can I dry shampoo it another day…
10. Right, meeting. Definitely wash.
11. If this meeting ends on time I might be able to grab quick groceries on lunch.
12. What should we do for dinner tonight? Remember to pull something out of the freezer.
13. Shiiit. Why can’t I sleep?
14. Okay, remember your breathing exercises. In…. Out….. In…..
15. I miss yoga. Maybe I can get to the studio this week. Thursday night? Nope, appointment at the bank. Wednesday? Maybe Wednesday…
16. Or I could meditate. Tonight before bed once the kids are down?
17. Ugh, what time is it? Don’t check. Just don’t do it…
18. WHY DOES THIS PHONE ALARM SOUND LIKE AN OVEN TIMER ON STEROIDS?!?
19. *Answers emails that came in overnight* Okay, how many minutes can I spend on Facebook?
20. Please don’t wake up, please don’t wake up *Tip toes to the shower*
21. Remember to bring up toilet paper.
22. Add toothpaste to the next shopping list. *Looks into garbage bin* Also, tear-free kids shampoo.
23. I really need a haircut.
24. WHY IS MY TOWEL SO WET?
25. If I go make the lunches now my hair can semi-dry on its own and then when I hear Hubs’ alarm I can dash into the bathroom and grab the dryer…
26. Okay, bottles for babe… what did I pack Susie for lunch yesterday?
27. Maybe I’ll cut these cucumbers and cheese slices into cute stars and moons like those Japanese lunch box thingies?
28. Okay, no cucumber… Eff it. Cheese strings and sliced veggie ham with crackers it is.
29. I really should start making weekly meal plans.
30. Add cucumbers to the grocery list.
31. Okay, where’s the list… I need one of those cute chalkboard walls.
32. *Finds list under permission slip* RIGHT! Need to sign this today.
33. Okay, toothpaste, shampoo…
34. 5:45 am! Gotta get dressed. *Stuffs list in purse*
35. Where is that blouse?
36. I wonder just how unsexy this bra actually is. Note to self — source sexy Victoria’s Secret bra and stop wearing this nursing one.
37. *Stuffs old bra into bin* Definitely need to do a load of laundry tonight.
38. Toilet paper! *runs downstairs*
39. This makeup routine is old… is it old? Remember to look into contouring.
40. Okay, those circles look all right. For now, anyhow.
41. I don’t caaaaaare…
42. Shit, I need a lunch.
43. Hubs didn’t pack anything… Hmm there’s leftover pasta here. *Smells contents.* Yep, he can have this.
44. Better put an apple in there. Maybe some carrot sticks too. Doctor said he needs to up his fibre.
45. Take your thyroid pill!
46. Dammit, I need to go get that bloodwork again. Okay maybe at lunch… but then groceries… Okay thyroid tomorrow.
47. *Alarm goes off upstairs* Hair dryer!!
48. Maybe the kids can have car smoothies for breakfast today.
49. Shit, out of almond butter. Definitely can’t do peanuts… okay add it to the list. I heard hemp seeds are a good replacement. Should I add hemp seeds?
50. *Turns on blender and Googles benefits of hemp seeds* Meh, maybe I can sneak them into a smoothie. *Adds hemp seeds to list*
51. *Opens curtains in Susie’s room* Remember, that article said not to rush the morning routine…
52. *Opens curtains in baby’s room… and another poop explosion* Is Hubs still in the shower? Awesome. *Hands baby to Hubs.*
53. *Runs downstairs to soak sheets and sleeper in Baby Oxo clean.* Crap, I need a new blouse. *Changes into not-so-powerful powerful outfit.*
54. *Finally gets kids and husband out the door.* Shit, I forgot to pack a lunch. Oh well, will grab something at the grocery store.
55. Should text husband and ask how daycare drop-off went.
56. Crap, crap, crap… the permission form. Okay, I think I have another day.
57. Where did I put those meeting notes…
58. Oh my God I need another coffee.
59. *Exits meeting* Okay, going to have to work through lunch. Maybe Hubs can grab groceries…
60. Great, Hubs working late tonight. Okay, freezer meal for dinner… SHIT. Forgot to take something out for dinner.
61. *Messages Hubs. “What do you feel like for dinner?”
“Whatever you feel like is fine by me.”
62. Maybe I should try one of those food services where they deliver the groceries and you cook what’s on the recipe card?
63. Okay focus. Let’s get through this deadline first. Groceries can wait.
64. *Call from Susie’s school.* Jaysus, yes. That slip is coming. Keep your cool. Keep your cool.
65. Right — blood work! *Books appointment online.*
66. I’m starving. Is it too early to eat a small bag of chips from the vending machine?
67. I am f—ing wonder woman. I can’t believe I just finished that whole project.
68. Oh crap, nope. I still need to confer with Janice on her part. *Sends another follow-up email*
69. I haven’t talked to Jess in forever. I’m the worst friend. *Shoots text*
70. If I leave 15 minutes early today I can totally grab those groceries. Maybe a roasted chicken for dinner?
71. Is it normal for a kid to be that picky? I should check with the doctor the next time we’re there…
72. Oh crap. When is Susie’s appointment?
73. *Books appointment.* Yes, reception-person sitting at your smug counter. I can feel you mom-judging me through the phone. I made an appointment, okay? Gimme a break…
74. The cat needs to go to the vet too for those shots. I should really book that appointment.
75. Did Hubs feed the cat today?
76. Okay, cat’s been fed but now we need cat food. Great.
77. Why do I always pick the longest checkout line?
78. C’mon guys, seriously, 20 minutes to get to daycare… 20 minutes to get to daycare.
79. And now we’re going to hit every. single. red. light.
80. *Rushes into daycare 15 minutes late* Well, this is going to be an extra twenty bucks.
81. Babe had another poop explosion. He feels a little hot. Should I take him in? Keep an eye for now.
82. *Ushers kids into car seats* It might be time to forward face babe’s seat… remember to look up weight and height restrictions again…
83. *Looks in review mirror* When did my makeup get THAT smudged? Ugh.
84. Look how packed that Goodlife is. I should totally start working out again. I feel dough-ey.
85. *Babe screams in the backseat as Susie complains about the noise* You’ve got this, you’ve got this. IN…. OUT…. IN…
86. Gotta grab the mail on the way in.
87. Shit, did we pay the power bill this month?
88. Okay, pasta sauce is on… I wonder if I can throw some diced peppers in there and hide them?
89. That article said hiding vegetables on kids is bad for them though… Is that why Susie doesn’t want to eat anymore? SHE USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD EATER!
90. And Susie just coloured on the table again…
91. PERMISSION SLIP! Ha. Take that, stupid piece of paper. And, done.
92. Do I smell burning?
93. Phew, pasta in. I should check on babe’s fever again.
94. I’m still not sure and Google isn’t helping… maybe I should post it in my mom Facebook group…
95. He seems in good spirits though. I’ll give it a few more hours.
96. If I had a glass of wine NOW, would that make me a bad mom? Ugh, is it bath time yet?
97. Remind Hubs to make himself a lunch for tomorrow so that he doesn’t have leftover pasta two days in a row.
98. I need to call my mom.
99. Crap, I think Susie’s screen time is getting up there… time to wake that dragon up.
100. I AM FREAKING TIRED. I WANT A VACATION.
101. Who would even watch the kids if we went on a vacation?
102. Man, even a date night would be good. We do have that wedding coming up.
103. Note to self – start saving a little extra cash for that wedding coming up.
104. I need to call my mom. Maybe she can baby sit…
105. BATH TIME! I think I’ll have that glass of wine and make lunches while Hubs bathes the kiddos…
106. Okay I might as well just pack a lunch for Hubs too while I’m doing this.
107. Could we afford a house cleaner? Because hot damn…
108. Our benefits cover massage. I should also book a massage. And a hair appointment…
109. *Snaps out of it.* Right. You’ve got to add that doctor’s appointment to the calendar.
110. Ohhhhh it’s Jess’s birthday next week. Maybe I can take her for lunch and apologize for being non-existent…
111. Did Jess message me back?
112. WHY is bath time always so short?
113. *Dries off babe* Okay, at least he doesn’t feel warm anymore. Probably just molars just coming in.
114. At least I’m not one of those moms posting ridiculous questions to my Facebook group instead of calling an actual doctor.
115. Congratulations. You just became a mom-shamer. Worst.
116. Oh my God, I cannot read this book one more time. *Opens book to read one more time.*
117. I wonder if there’s anything good on TV tonight. I should really get a jump start on those emails though…
118. Did the kids brush their teeth during bath? Must. Remind. Hubs.
119. I brought up toilet paper, right?
120. How do we have SO many toys? Maybe we should get a bigger place to store them. Or better yet — purge!!
121. Okay if Susie doesn’t notice this bag of toys missing in the next two weeks then it’s safe to sell them or donate them… right?
122. Crap, I should really go to bed. But man it’s so nice having a quiet house.
123. TV or bed… TV or bed…
124. I mean, if I watch one show I can actually enjoy a glass of wine with it.
125. Okay just one show. No wine though. I’m going to be a responsible adult and have tea.
126. Dammit. I never called my mom. Okay, tomorrow.
127. Wasn’t I going to meditate tonight? Meh. Maybe I’ll get up early and do it tomorrow. The lunches are made, after all…
128. Then again, I could probably sleep in for 30 extra minutes…
129. Okay time for bed, this is getting ridiculous.
130. Is it the weekend yet?
131. I didn’t spend enough time with the kids today. They’re growing up way too fast. They’re totally going to resent me when they’re older.
132. Maybe this weekend we’ll do something fun together. Petting zoo? Library?
133. *Googles weekend activities in area* Oh, this kid-friendly festival sounds fun… Tell Hubs about it in the morning. Okay, emails…
134. God, we barely had a chance to speak tonight. Must schedule date night. Also, when’s the last time we had sex? Oh God. Maybe if I didn’t feel so dough-ey… and tired…
135. Maybe if I got my workout clothes ready now… oh who am I kidding.
136. Jess’s birthday! Okay, mental note, message her with some times tomorrow.
137. Damn it feels good to lay in bed. Investing in nicer sheets was totally worth… *baby monitor goes off.*