You’ve probably noticed by now that it’s pretty cold outside.
Scratch that, it’s too cold outside. And no, no, we’re not being wussies about it. We have icicles running through our veins like all Canadians, but this winter has simply gone too far. Look what happened when someone dropped this banana. Fruit isn’t supposed to do this:
Not to mention, what could happen to your coffee between sips:
And you know those machines you find in underground parking lots? Even they’re breaking out parkas!
The cold is forcing humans to do things that would normally defy all logic and reason. Like attaching skates to their slippers:
But not everything is adaptable. Hoses, for example:
And jeans aren’t supposed to do – whatever’s actually happening here:
Then there’s the snow itself, which is piling up so high that our trains look like something out of a Freudian nightmare.
That’s right. Our infrastructure is breaking down, people. Even our police force can’t deal:
And forget parking lots. These days, they look more like exhumed cemeteries. Just try finding a spot. We dare you.
And look at what happens when you try to open a window:
Hibernating would be an easy solution, sure, but that requires food. And if you’re lucky enough to find a company that can actually drive an order to your home, it comes double boxed, just to stay warm. Mmm…cardboard.
Speaking of warm, we didn’t even think this was possible, but the cold froze a volcano in Iceland. You know, those mountains that spew burning, MOLTEN LAVA all over the place. Yeah, one of those: