Well, here we are. According to swooners and crooners it’s the most romantic day of the year, but if you’re not into that commercialized love stuff or if you find yourself flying solo this Valentine’s Day, it can be a tough day to get through.
But before you go drowning your relationship sorrows in mocking candy hearts or fall into the lava chocolate volcano of self-pity, we’re here to remind you that there are plenty of things to celebrate about being single OR being in a healthy relationship. Namely, that you (hopefully) aren’t with any of these “winners” who have been called out for their terrible first-date antics and manners on Twitter.
#WorstFirstDates has been a trending hashtag for a while, but Jimmy Fallon recently re-popularized it on Late Night Starring Jimmy Fallon, inspiring people everywhere to share their horror stories in 140 characters or less. And while we all know the awkwardness that can be the first official date with a person, these tweets below really do take the heart-shaped cake.
1. The crumby guy
Met for coffee. He got a pastry. He licked the crumbs off the table. All the crumbs, many of which were there before we sat down. #WorstFirstDate
— Anna Labedz (@AnnaLaWho) February 6, 2018
Talk about a crumby first date.
2. The over-sharer
He told me about how his ex girlfriend had an abortion, and the sex leading up to it, during which they came simultaneously, and did you know an orgasm makes pregnancy more likely?#WorstFirstDate
— Yuletide Katia (@katiathemick) February 3, 2018
Worst. Pickup line. Ever.
3. The creeper
#WorstFirstDate He hid in a bush to watch my reaction to a text saying he wasn’t coming and then joked about drugging me. WHY?
— Megan Holtman (@meganholtman) February 6, 2018
Run. Run away as fast as you can and change your phone number. Maybe even move.
4. The high-falluten
My gf is Korean so we went to Seoul for our first date. I never ate live octopus before so I swallowed the whole octopus within seconds. My gf astounded & lost words. Few moments later I felt something moving in my stomach #WorstFirstDate @jimmyfallon @FallonTonight
— Abdi (@BashirMuse0) February 6, 2018
She really dug her tentacles into him, huh?
5. The picky eater
#WorstFirstDate In college I went on 1st date with a guy to a nice steak restaurant. I felt bad ordering expensive steak since he was paying. So I ordered clam chowder & shrimp appetizer instead. During dinner, he said he was a 7th Day Adventist & believed shellfish were unclean
— Sharon O’Donnell (@4boysanddog) February 6, 2018
6. The mute
@FallonTonight I once went on a date with a guy who wouldn’t speak to me the entire time. He didn’t even say hi when I got there. It was just two hours of awkward silence and me answering my own questions. #WorstFirstDate
— Shannon Armstrong (@_ShanArmstrong) February 6, 2018
What, you wanted a conversationalist?
7. The Aussie date
— Andrew Reid (@AndrewRRP) February 6, 2018
So you never made it down under?
8. The klepto
I went on a date with this girl and all she did was talk about her ex. Then she proceeded to steal dishes from the restaurant. #WorstFirstDate
— Leah Bahr (@Lakoah) January 26, 2018
So she didn’t steal your heart?
9. The funny guy
my #worstfirstdate was with an amateur stand up comedian who insisted he could make up a rape joke that I would laugh at and then yelled at me for wasting his time via text message the next day when I wouldn’t have sex with him.
— KaraBoo (@plasticbagghost) January 26, 2018
What a regular old Louis CK.
10. The fire-starter
At dinner I was being fairly amusing and she threw her head back to laugh… right into a candle. When she straightened up her hair was on fire. To compound her bad experience I jumped across the table, slapping at her head. #WorstFirstDate
— David Long (@gawdmail) January 26, 2018
But you’re saying there was a spark?
11. The fishy guy
Date at a fancy sushi restaurant… going great. Until we get up to leave, and I put my hand on his arm to be cute. He brushes my hand away and says, “This is suede. Don’t get your finger prints on it.” #WorstFirstDate #SociallyStupid
— Geraldine B (@101baddates) January 26, 2018
Wait, the leisure suit didn’t tip you off?
12. The Ogler
Was out on a date with a guy who said he had no money and borrowed $10 to buy a drink at a convenient store. Came back with a scratch-off, won $60 and took me home since I wouldn’t go to the strip club with “his winnings”#WorstFirstDate
— ChelseaThrash (@Chelseathrash1) January 10, 2018
Winner, winner, stripper dinner.
13. The flubster
While at dinner, I couldn’t decide between the sea bass and the salmon so I asked the waiter “how is your semen?” Absolutely mortifying. #WorstFirstDate
— Meredith Allison (@RockTique) January 10, 2018
Next time avoid fish?
14. The unknown connection
— General Lici Organa (@alkanan_) January 10, 2018
15. The quick dresser
First date in high school: we were out at dinner & I kept on feeling something funny in my sweater. My date commented on my “fidgeting” & was completely shocked as I reached up my sleeve to pull out a pair of my moms panties! Now I do my own laundry! 😉#worstfirstdate
— Marc Lemieux (@Lemieux24) January 10, 2018
That’s one way to cut the apron strings.
16. The serial dater
He took me to a restaurant and went to the bathroom a lot and stepped out often to take calls. I thought it was weird, and then the waiter said “you know he’s at another table with a blonde woman right?”. he had 2 first dates at once #worstfirstdate
— kelsey 🍀 (@see_kel) January 10, 2018
What, he couldn’t date the waitress too?
17. The morbid one
He took me to cemetery and wanted to play hide and seek 😒 #WorstFirstDate
— Ana Fabijanić (@bloondlife) January 23, 2018
Oh, you want to hide.
18. The ranter
Online date, at a fancy restaurant. Told me that women shouldn’t work, gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry, ranted about how he hated his female boss and closed out the evening saying that his grandfather was a nazi and he was proud of that fact. #WorstFirstDate
— Meghan Haddaway (@cupofmeghan) January 22, 2018
All hail the world’s biggest jerk.
19. The chuckler
#worstfirstdate Date was going really well until; he said something funny and I over-laughed. Threw my head back then brought my head forward with enough force to lodge my straw DEEP inside my nostril. Left an inch long piece of skin inside straw! Lots of blood=no second date.
— CJ Kaae (@kittenish2u) February 4, 2018
Deep-throat’s got nothing on you.
20. The third wheel
Went to Red Lobster and his father came. He sat next to me in the booth as my date sat across from me. He just got his permit and his dad showed me videos of him driving. #WorstFirstDate
— el (@melanie812_) January 31, 2018
Was he out of baby pics?
21. The over-eater
Took her to Olive Garden. She was eating her pasta, and then she sneezed into her food, pasta literally came out of her mouth, and back into the bowl. She continued to eat the snot pasta. Barf. #WorstFirstDate #Trending
— Jay (@LovellJantson) January 29, 2018
It was extra protein?
22. The set-up guy
For 2 days leading up to the date, keeps asking if I’m excited for our date. Went to a movie and then dinner. Halfway through dinner, while I was mid-bite, he tells me it’s not a date and I have to pay for myself. #WorstFirstDate
— Jackie (@AplJax3) January 28, 2018
Communication is key to any relationship…
23. The gifter
My date gave me an iPod as a gift. I found out he stole it when he ran away in the middle of the date because he thought the cops walking by were coming for him. #WorstFirstDate #BadDate #stillfriends
— Geraldine B (@101baddates) January 26, 2018
Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do?