Becoming a parent means that you are now responsible for keeping another human alive. We’re not going to call this the toughest job in the world, because jobs give you a 45-minute lunch break and sometimes you get a cake on your birthday. When it comes to being a parent and especially being a mom, priorities in life go through a huge shift.
Whether or not you’re a mom, it’s important to find moments every day to recognize an accomplishment you’ve made and be proud of yourself. If you are a mom, these accomplishments may feel few and far between, but take the win wherever you can. Feces included.
KEEPING POOP IN A DIAPER
Changing a poopy diaper without getting poop on clothing (yours or theirs) takes the kind of agility and timing only found in Cirque Du Soleil performers and moms.
No diploma on the wall, medal from a marathon, or employee of the month award will ever live up to the satisfaction of using an Oogie Bear to successfully dislodge a booger from the nose of a baby who can’t breathe.
MOVING A SLEEPING BABY
Successfully transitioning a sleeping baby from the car to the house means that you are now qualified to disarm bombs. That’s the hurt locker.
FIGURING OUT YOUR BABY’S CRY
Knowing the difference between cries and understanding what your child wants may not happen every day, but when it does, it’s life affirming.
DRESSING IN A NICE OUTFIT
Leaving the house in an outfit that is nicer than your child’s outfit may only take place a few times a year, so work that driveway like Tyra Banks is deciding whether you get to continue on your journey to becoming Canada’s New Top Mom-del.
IGNORING THE HATERS
For every 10 friends that try to lift you up, there’s always one person who feels the need to point out that you’re doing something completely wrong as a parent. Send them to the left.
GETTING A PICTURE WITH YOUR CHILD
Other people are actually allowed to take pictures of moms with their children instead of moms taking pictures of everyone else holding their baby. It’s true! We looked it up!
MASTERING THE CAR SEAT
Getting the baby/kid in the car seat without anyone screaming or crying, mom included.
FEEDING YOUR CHILD
Whether you did it with your boob, the bottle, a tube of baby food, or a can of Alphagetti, you got your kid fed today. Good. For. You!
MAKING IT THROUGH A DAY WITHOUT CRYING
That counts for moms and kids.
DOING ANY KIND OF EXERCISE
You may only have enough energy/stamina/time for one rep at the gym, but at least you did the damn thing.
FINISHING A BOOK/MOVIE/TV SHOW
You are Wonder Woman.
GETTING ANYWHERE ON TIME
Call yourself Marty McFly and give yourself a high five.
EATING FOOD WHILE IT’S STILL HOT
Did you know hot food is supposed to be eaten while it’s hot? It tastes better that way. Most kids haven’t received that memo, but if by chance your child chills out/a friend holds your crying baby/the children are playing nicely and not trying to kill one another with forks and you get to eat your meal while it’s hot, then it’s a win for all moms. Eat it like it’s hot…cuz it is.
TAKING A MILESTONE PICTURE ON TIME
You know those cute milestone pictures that every new mom takes that shows their baby at one week, one month, one year, and so on? They are almost always taken about two weeks late.
TELLING A STRANGER TO BACK OFF
Telling a stranger to not touch your baby without feeling weird about it is Mom Level 100.
You’re not a regular mom, you’re a cool mom. Even if you’re the only one who thinks that.
KNOWING ABOUT A CURRENT EVENT
Why yes, every co-worker at every job, I did watch Game of Thrones last night and why yes, I would like to discuss my theory on who should sit on the throne. See you in the lunch room, I’ll bring my PowerPoint presentation for #TeamArya.
GETTING AN ERRAND DONE
Car seats, strollers, nap times, meltdowns, and snacks are the antithesis to ‘quick errand.’ Did you only get two of the 10 things on your list accomplished today? That’s still two. You are amazing.
BATHING A CHILD BY YOURSELF
When your baby is little, few things are more terrifying than bathing their tiny, slippery, eel-like bodies. Most moms spend a lot of time at home alone with the baby in the beginning and eventually a blow out will happen and you’ll have to bathe the baby on your own. It’s terrifying, but you got this, mama!
FINDING SOMETHING YOUR CHILD LIKES
Babies and young children are like Bill Hader’s Stefon character, constantly in search of the newest and hottest club. Except the club is a toy and the toy might be an empty yogurt container and not the $50 train set you just bought them. If you happen to find something that can occupy your kid for 10 minutes, you deserve to be the person that gets to say “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night” at the top of the show.
DIAGNOSING YOUR KID
Being a mom means trusting your gut even when your partner, friends, family and the internet are telling you that you child is fine, but you know something is up. Knowing your gut is on the right track can be a huge validation that you have some idea of what you’re doing, even if it’s only for a few moments.
REMEMBERING YOUR KIDS
Sometimes remembering to pick your kids up, drop them off, or not forget one of them on the couch is a win.
WEARING A PRE-MATERNITY PIECE OF CLOTHING
MAKING YOUR CHILD LAUGH
Kids can be tough critics. Making them laugh is like getting a standing ovation at the Apollo.
BUYING YOURSELF SOMETHING NICE
…and not feeling guilty about it. That’s self-care, ladies.
REMEMBERING TO RESTOCK THE DIAPER BAG
You are a brilliant genius and Mensa should know about you.
YOUR KID DOING SOMETHING ON DEMAND
Does your child clap like a champ at home and then stare at your blankly when you try to show off their skill to friends and family? One on-demand clap in public can make you feel like your future as Kris Jenner, momager extraordinaire, is cemented (but you know, without the sex tapes).
Did you just spend an hour watching YouTube videos, or scrolling through Instagram, or taking a bath, or painting your nails, or channel flipping? YAS KWEEN.