There’s nothing like surviving the first year of parenthood. Once you reach that milestone, it makes you feel like you could conquer the world. NASA’s looking for a new astronaut? You got this!
Of course, you probably don’t feel that way while you’re in the thick of it. Never sleeping, endless amounts of puke and poop, and putting your own personal hygiene on the back burner really takes its toll. You probably love your little bundle of joy more and more each day, but you’re also convinced that they are slowly trying to kill you.
Thankfully, parents can seek a bit of comfort in the fact that they’re not alone. Even if another parent claims their baby is a perfect angel, they’re either lying or delusional, and you don’t want to be friends with them anyway. It takes a village to raise a child, but if you haven’t quite gathered your townspeople yet, here are 32 gifs that you can almost definitely relate to:
Tired? You might as well put your brain in a blender.
Your local barista probably bought a new car on your coffee orders alone.
Don’t even think about watching Bambi.
When you’re at your lowest and your baby smiles for the first time.
The first time you fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans and get a new lease on life.
And you finally get a few hours by yourself and you spend the entire time looking at pictures of your baby.
It’s bound to happen at least once.
You’re able to fall asleep anywhere, any time. No pillows? No problemzzzzz…
The first time your baby eats diaper cream.
The fifth time your baby eats diaper cream.
Affection is met with puke. So much puke.
But you’ll still spend hours just counting their toes.
Trying to remember which side your baby left off.
Nothing belongs to you anymore. Especially not your personal space.
Your laundry bin runneth over (onto every spare inch of floorspace).
The first time your baby sleeps for 5 hours straight.
And then swiftly decided they’ll only doze off in a moving car.
Social life? No thank you.
You become an expert in the variety of colours and textures and will proudly tell anyone who will listen.
When your baby is teething and drools though an entire outfit in 10 seconds flat.
And similarly, the one time you left the house without nipple pads.
The countless times you’re convinced they’ve stopped breathing and then accidentally wake them up while checking.
Trying to make friends at playgroup.
When you just want to go to the bathroom by yourself.
The lengths at which you will go to try to make your baby laugh know no bounds.
You know every Raffi song by heart but regularly forget your own name.
Everything takes at least three attempts and you regularly find nail polish in your rain boots and dirty socks in your purse.
When they become mobile and you have to double your caffeine intake.
Or maybe your wine intake.
First birthdays are the leading cause of second, third, and fourth children.