1. Oh my God, it’s snowing! I love winter!
2. I should make hot chocolate and curl up by the fire. Today is going to be a good day!
3. It looks so magical…who could possibly hate this stuff?
4. I should go frolic outside with blissful abandon.
5. Maybe, I should start shoveling – nah, it can wait.
6. Snow angels are definitely on the agenda for today.
7. Do I wanna build a snowman? Why, yes. Yes I do.
8. Those kids really screwed up when they built Frosty. I mean, really, button nose? Use a damn carrot!
9. I wonder if any ski hills are open yet. Definitely got to shred some of that sweet, sweet powder, bro.
10. Should I run to the grocery store before it gets too bad? Nah, this won’t keep up.
11. Where did I put my toboggan? Wait, do I even own a toboggan? I should.
12. What’s the deal with snowshoes?
13. Wow, it’s still going. But, you can never have too much snow…right?
14. Can I douse my front steps with table salt? Oh, who cares? Look at the icicles!
15. I could totally live in an igloo.
16. I really should start shoveling…just as soon as it stops snowing.
17. Hmm, doesn’t seem to be letting up…
18. That wind is really picking up. I should probably bring in the recycling bins.
19. It’s really coming down out there now… is it too late to shovel? Yeah, definitely too late. Just wait it out.
20. Uh oh… Is that hail? Should I put tape on my windows?
21. I should have shoveled. I’m never going to be able to get out of that driveway.
22. I might be stuck here for a while… I should see if I have any canned food.
23. Hmm, creamed corn and a can of Whiskas… I should ration these.
24. What if a tree falls on my house? Does insurance cover that kind of thing?
25. Where did I put those damn tea lights?
26. Should I try to leave? Maybe I can make a run for the border. Head south. Like a goose.
27. Oh God, there’s so much snow on the car… Maybe I can clear it off with a blow-dryer?
28. My car is permanently sealed in an icy tomb. I have no escape.
29. Why didn’t I shovel!
30. This is a disaster. The power is going to go out, and all my food will go bad, and I’ll starve to death, because I’m trapped in this icy prison.
31. Okay, don’t panic. Just eat your cat food and wait for the army to arrive.
32. Maybe I’ll just go to bed. The snow will melt overnight and everything will be all better in the morning.
34. It’s. Still. Snowing. I hate winter.