After months of anticipation, the third season of The Affair has returned to fill our Sunday nights with sex, intrigue, deception, sex, lies, redemption, and some sex.
Thanks to a partnership between Showtime and CraveTV, new episodes of The Affair are now available day and date with the US, which means you don’t have to worry about reading spoilers online or waiting around for the next chapter in the Lockhart/Solloway/Bailey saga. Plus, you know, more sex scenes.
Since the Season 3 premiere of The Affair last Sunday, we’ve been thinking…
1. Time for another episode of The Affair! Prepare to question your relationship and develop trust issues.
2. Ugh, this theme song is so good. I need to find my old Fiona Apple CDs.
3. Actually, just look on iTunes. That will be much easier.
4. Okay, what time period are we in now? Check for bangs, long hair, short hair, Joshua Jackson’s fake gut, and sepia tones.
5. Looks like the present. Got it. Wait, or is this a flashback?
6. Shoot, whose name is this half of the episode under? Rewind!
7. Alison! Got it. Proceed with the sexy times.
8. Three minutes in. First instance of sexy time. What do these people eat? Is it an all protein diet? Who has the energy for this much sex?
9. Who has four kids and has this much sex?
10. Who has any kids and has this much sex?
11. How can any of them hold jobs when they have this much sex?
12. I should swim more.
13. I think I feel the worst for Cole.
14. Nope, Helen. She has to deal with her bratty kids.
15. Nope, definitely Cole. He needs a hug.
16. Forgot about Helen’s parents. She wins the sympathy vote over Cole.
17. I loathe Noah.
18. I loathe Alison.
19. I should really tell my partner I love them more often.
20. No one should ever make a promise on this show, unless the promise is to sleep with other people.
21. I don’t think I see myself naked as often as I see everyone on this show naked.
22. How do they all look so good naked? They never work out. Except for Noah. Is Noah working out for all of them?
23. Could Cole and Helen finally find some happiness?
24. Yay, a good moment for Helen and Cole!
25. Ugh, I really loathe Noah.
26. How does anyone have an affair after watching this show? It seems like a very unpleasant thing.
27. I wonder if anyone has done a study to see whether there’s been a drop in extra-marital affairs since this show premiered. Like, lower teen pregnancies thanks to Teen Mom.
28. I should do that study.
29. Does anyone else notice that none of the Lockhart boys look remotely alike?
30. Plus, they’re totally cursed.
31. And why can’t any of the Lockhart boys just get jobs on their own? This is a very odd family dynamic.
32. Okay, now I feel bad for Alison.
33. Back to feeling bad for Cole.
34. Now I feel bad for Helen.
35. I would look like this every day if I had four kids.
36. No one ever uses a hair dryer or make-up but they still look amazing.
37. Are other people having this much sex?
38. Wait, are we in the past, present or future?
39. Bangs! We’re in the future, got it!
40. How many floors are in that brownstone? Eight? Nine?
41. Another sex scene! I can never watch this show on a plane.
42. Ugh, you’re the worst, Noah.
43. Cliffhanger ending! Ahhhh! Is it Sunday yet?
44. Damn, I love this show.
45. Gonna go listen to some Fiona Apple and wait for Sunday.
Watch new episodes of Season 3 of The Affair every Sunday at 10 pm E.T. on CraveTV.