In the fictional world of TV, there are many characters we’d love to cherry pick for our every day lives. We would definitely hire The Royals’ Jasper as our bodyguard. We wouldn’t say no to This Is Us’ Mandy Moore being our mom. But when it comes to medical professionals, TV has provided possibly the greatest number of options out of all careers.
So, how do fictional medical professionals stack up? Let’s take a look.
Jackie Peyton, Nurse Jackie
Occupation: ER Nurse
Bedside Manner: 6/10 Jackie typically doesn’t play well with others, but if you’re someone in need and aren’t a total jerk, you can expect kindness extended to you. Otherwise, that needle is going to hurt when it goes in.
Medical Knowledge: 9/10 She’s especially well versed in the world of painkillers.
Attitude Towards Co-Workers: 4/10 Unless you’re Jackie’s bestie Dr. O’Hara, we recommend not using Jackie’s chair, always speaking quickly, and avoiding sleeping with her if possible. It won’t end well.
Patient Deaths: 8/10 When you work in an ER in the middle of New York City it’s virtually impossible to have a perfect death rating.
Overall Rating: 6.75 /10 If you’re injured, we suggest requesting Jackie. Just don’t try to be her bestie.
Dr. Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy
Occupation: General Surgeon
Bedside Manner: 7/10 What Meredith lacks in warmth and compassion she makes up for in advocating for her patients.
Medical Knowledge: 10/10 She’s definitely not employed for her sunny demeanor.
Attitude Towards Co-Workers: 6/10 Unless you’re one of her ‘people,’ Meredith has little time or respect for her fellow surgeons.
Patient Deaths: 6/10 When you’re the best at what you do, you get a lot of critical patients who view your operating table as their last hope. Sometimes (a lot of times) they die.
Overall Rating: 7.25/10 You want Meredith Grey as your doctor, just not your sister, your attending, your co-worker, or possibly your friend.
Dr. Lincoln Rice, Broad City
Bedside Manner: 10/10 If you’re like us and are terrified of the dentist, choose one that will distract you with lovable puns and updates on his pasta blog, The Al Dente Dentist.
Medical Knowledge: 9/10 He knew how to fix Ilana’s broken tooth and perform Abbi’s wisdom teeth surgery, so he seems pretty legit to us.
Attitude Towards Co-Workers: N/A We don’t know whether Lincoln has co-workers, though we’re pretty sure that if he does, they would love him.
Patient Deaths: 10/10 No dead bodies at the dentist’s office!
Overall Rating: 9.6/10 We wish we could go back in time and get braces all over again just to be able to see Dr. Lincoln every other week.
Dr. Delphine Cormier, Orphan Black
Occupation: Research Physician
Bedside Manner: 7/10 Dr. Cormier’s only patient has been Cosima, so we’re pulling from a limited focus group. Even with only one patient, Dr. Cormier has made Cosima fall in love with her and then broken her heart, so she’s covered a lot of ground and crossed just about every ethical and professional boundary.
Medical Knowledge: 8/10 It would be a perfect 10 if she could have permanently healed Cosima and the other clones.
Attitude Towards Co-Workers: 6/10 She had Rachel locked up, so don’t get on Delphine’s bad side.
Patient Deaths: 9/10 Are we counting past, dead clones?
Overall Rating: 7.5/10 If you’re a clone who is dying from a genetic mutation, we suggest making an appointment with Dr. Cormier. Just don’t fall in love with her.
Dr. Charlie Harris, Saving Hope
Occupation: Orthopedic Surgeon
Bedside Manner: 8/10 He’s kind to the living and the dead.
Medical Knowledge: 9/10 Even if a patient dies he can still learn what went wrong by asking their ghost.
Attitude Towards Co-Workers: 7/10 He’s got a weird thing about not liking other doctors who try to sleep with his fiancée.
Patient Deaths: 10/10 If Dr. Harris can see you after you’ve died, are you really dead? Well yes, but not to him.
Overall Rating: 8.5/10 Dr. Harris is the best orthopedic surgeon for the living and the dead.
Dr. Jenna James, Getting On
Occupation: Director of Medicine
Bedside Manner: 6/10 The words ‘forced’ and ‘unconvincing’ are best used to described Dr. James’ concern for patients.
Medical Knowledge: 7/10 Dr. James’ medical knowledge is often undermined by her employees’ deep, deep dislike of her.
Attitude Towards Co-Workers: 5/10 For a person who plays the cello, she’s tone-deaf when it comes to interacting with others.
Patient Deaths: 7/10 This number would be higher, but Dr. James likes to pretend patients are dying to help boost her research.
Overall Rating: 6.25/10 We recommend asking for Nurse Didi.