Halloween is often thought of as a holiday just for kids. You get to wear costumes your parents bought or made for you, the candy is free, and you get to run around the neighborhood at night when you’re usually inside doing schoolwork. Then, there comes a time, somewhere between elementary and high school, that we age out of Halloween–for a few years anyway.
Eventually, we re-enter the holiday as adults, forced to endure uncomfortable and elaborate costumes, becoming semi-professional seamstresses expected to make Broadway-quality recreations for our kids, and thinking about the calories inside every snack-sized treat.
But Halloween shouldn’t have to be that way. It’s time to reclaim Halloween; to really enjoy a holiday that doesn’t require maxing out our credit cards on gifts or enduring family visits that include questions about why we don’t have a spouse/kids/a house/a promotion. Embrace it, do it your own way and maybe, just maybe this can become your favourite time of the year.
Here’s proof that Halloween is actually really, really great when you’re an adult.
You can EAT WHAT YOU WANT
Sure, getting free candy as a kid is great, but as an adult you get to choose which types of candy to eat instead of settling for what your neighbours think is good. Don’t want to eat another box of raisins? Don’t. Treat yo’self to tiny bags of Doritos instead. Consider it portion control. Such an adult!
CANDY DEALS are made for us adults
Come November 1, you can take your big person credit card to the grocery store and stock up on newly-discounted kids chocolate bars that will stay fresh in your adult-sized freezer for months.
COMFY COSTUMES are just a trip to the mall away
Thanks to the recent craze of adult onesies, you can be cozy as a literal giant panda on October 31. Plus, every other day of the year. Have you ever binged a season of Masterchef while wearing a onesie? It’s decadent.
Or you can totally BALL OUT
Was it your childhood dream to buy an expensive replica of Uhura’s costume from Star Trek? Now is the time to make 11-year-old you very happy and buy the pricey costume of your dreams. Plus, you can totally wear it again next year. Take that, wedding dresses.
YOU CAN WATCH WHAT YOU WANT
You’re not an 8-year-old at a sleepover trying to impress friends. If you don’t want to watch a scary movie, you don’t have to. And trust us, we won’t judge. Have you watched Garfield’s Halloween Adventure as an adult? It’s terrifying. There’s no shame in the non-scary movie game.
And DECORATE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT
When I was growing up I always wanted my house to have the kind of Halloween display that made kids from other neighbourhoods beg their parents to visit. Instead, my dad and I would do a barely passable pumpkin carving, stick it on the front steps and call it a day. Now that I’m an adult, I can–and will–buy all the Halloween decorations I want. My house still doesn’t look like a set from Beetlejuice (decorations are expensive, my parents were right), but I do like knowing that I have the power to decorate as much as I want…credit approval pending.
You Can finally admit that HAUNTED HOUSES AREN’T FUN
Maybe you’re one of those adults who likes paying $50 to have strangers terrorize you for an hour. We call that our monthly gym membership. You’re an adult now, which means you don’t have to succumb to the peer pressure of going through a haunted house and spend the whole time praying you don’t do any of the three P’s (pee, puke or poop) in public. Instead, you can wait for your party at the bar. Adulting FTW.
Or, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING
Don’t want to participate in Halloween this year? Don’t. Being an adult means embracing the power of ‘No.’