One-third of American 8th graders think Canada is a dictatorship
The True North strong and…oppressed? According to the U.S. government’s National Center for Education Statistics, 33 per cent of American 8th graders believe that Canada is a dictatorship. The students who participated in the test were given a series of multiple choice questions pertaining to U.S. history, geography and civics. One question asked “What do the current governments of Canada, France, and Australia have in common?” Twenty-five per cent believed the answer was “They have leaders with absolute power” while another 10 per cent believed “They are controlled by the military.” The good news? Most kids (54 per cent) chose the correct answer.
Girl has crappy birthday after plane dumps poop on party
Happy birthday, indeed. Birthday girl Jacinda Cambray was relaxing with friends at her backyard party in Pennsylvania when her big day suddenly took a very bizarre turn. Just as everyone was settling down to eat cake, human poop literally started raining down from above. “Out of nowhere from the sky comes a bunch of feces and lands on here very hard,” said the girl’s stepfather, Joe Cambray, who had put up a canopy only hours before the party began. “If a hundred birds flew over and went to the bathroom all simultaneously, that’s what it would look like.” Five planes were reportedly flying overhead at the time of the incident; the FAA is now investigating.
Woman sues for injuries from hot dog stand umbrella
These days, one person’s accident is another person’s lawsuit. A Calgary woman is suing for $570,000 after she says she was left with chronic migraines and a concussion after being struck with an umbrella at a hot dog stand. “The plaintiff … while on the (Canadian Tire) premises, was suddenly and without warning struck on the head by an umbrella,” her claim states. The lawsuit names both Canadian Tire Corp. and Supreme Hot Dogs among the defendants.
Aspen Man Hires Stuffed Owl As His Defense Attorney
Speaking of strange lawsuits… After being accused of violating a protection order, Colorado man Charles Abbott appointed a stuffed owl as his lawyer. The order was originally filed after Abbott allegedly assaulted another man at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Once in court, Abbott placed the stuffed animal (which is named Soloman, by the way) at the defence table and told the judge that the toy would be his legal counsel until a public defender could be assigned. The hearing ended with the order still in place.
Man comes home to find neighbor has taken half his driveway
Welcome back! It’s unclear how long he was gone, but Florida man Oliver Lynch returned to his home this week to find a line of cinder blocks cemented down the middle of his driveway. Lynch blames his new neighbour for the damage, saying the man argued that half of the driveway was on his property. Even though Lynch has records that show two 12-foot driveways are allowed side-by-side, a county spokesperson still suggested they take up the matter in court. “What’s he going do with these extra few yards of concrete?” Lynch asked.