If you’re looking for a way to learn more about a beloved celebrity figure while simultaneously degrading their memory, we’ve got the attraction for you. The National Enquirer has opened their own amusement park and included a Princess Diana ride that takes people through the late royal’s final moments before she, her boyfriend Dodi Fayed, and their driver Henri Paul were killed in a car crash in Paris. We assume it ends with a trip through a gift shop.
National Enquirer Live! is made up of 100 attractions, including a recreation of the crime scene from the OJ Simpson case where Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman were murdered, an exhibit on the infamous moment Michael Jackson held his son outside a window, and Princess Di’s horrific death. Please don’t give these people money.
The company’s spokesperson Robin Turner says that the Princess Diana ride is not in “…poor taste.” That’s true. It’s in no taste.
“It’s a 3-D computer model, and you’re looking down on what looks just like Paris, but it’s three-dimensional,” explains Turner to The Daily Beast. “And it shows the pathway as she left the Ritz hotel, and the paparazzi chasing her, and the bang-flash that we think blinded the driver—and how it happened.”
If you’re ready to hand over $24.99 USD (or $18.99 for kids, because they too should see this?), Turner says that the ride isn’t meant to upset people. “There’s no blood. There’s none of that. You see the car crash through computer animation.” Cool.
“It’s just showing the route of what happened. For people who’ve never been to Paris, it’s just showing the topography, and the distance, and the tunnel, and that kind of stuff…It’s done very professionally.”
Oh, well, as long as it’s done professionally. Plus, you get to see Paris, and there aren’t any movies, TV shows, websites, or books that focus on Paris, so thank goodness for this ride.
After completing the ride, visitors are then polled on their opinions on the Royal Family’s involvement in Diana’s death and the likelihood Diana was pregnant with Fayed’s child.
As for whether Turner thinks Diana’s sons Prince Harry and Prince William would be upset over an attraction focused on “…a pain like no other,” Turner is described as ‘ambivalent.’ We’re gonna go ahead and say yes. They would be upset.
National Enquirer Live! opened on May 25 and is located in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, which is home to non-offensive attractions like Dollywood and the Smokey Mountains. Go see those instead.
Omfg. Some unbelievably horrible person made a fucking THEME PARK RIDE out of the crash that killed Princess Diana. Holy shit. I just… I just can’t.
— Dr. Margaret Weaselbooty (@ladyslytherpuff) May 25, 2019
National Enquirer is totally trash, this is downright disgusting and they states at the end of the crash ride people’s gets to vote to decide if the crown was responsible for Princess Diana crash which resulted in her death….what is wrong with these people
— Jayne H-W (@jaydoll51) May 25, 2019
Where is your tack? That ride is disrespectful and a stain on the memory of Princess Diana! I hope it’s a flop!
— Bernita F. Faust (@MissEliteNYATOC) May 26, 2019
Princess Diana’s death has been made into a themepark ride and that’s officially enough for one day.
— Rosie Munns (@RosieJM) May 24, 2019