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Nebraska woman sues all the gay people in the world
Better check your mailbox for a subpoena. A woman in Nebraska filed a lawsuit Wednesday in a U.S. District Court against every single gay person on the planet on behalf of “God and His Son, Jesus Christ.” In a seven-page handwritten petition, 66-year-old Sylvia Ann Driskell is asking a judge to decide whether or not same-sex relationships are in fact a sin. The lawsuit has been comically named Driskell vs. Homosexuals in court dockets.

Baltimore City Worker Spent Half His Time Watching Porn
It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it. A maintenance supervisor working at a wastewater treatment plant in Baltimore was recorded watching ridiculous amounts of pornography on the job after the department received an anonymous complaint. Over a two-week period, he was clocked watching 39 hours of X-rated footage. On one day in particular, he somehow got away with viewing the steamy stuff for six hours and 46 minutes. The surveillance report also notes that the porn was being viewed in full screen mode, suggesting that “little or no” work was being done. He was fired back in January, but word of the story only started to spread this week.

Parents Bribed Their Teens With Cocaine to Get Them to Do Chores
We have new candidates for the worst parents ever! A mom and dad in Florida were arrested after allegedly using weed and cocaine as motivational tools to get their kids to do chores. The father is accused of snorting cocaine with his girls in the parking lot of a Treasure Island while police say the mother admitted to smoking pot with her kids “as a bargaining tool.” Both parents are now facing multiple felony child abuse charges.

Huge Bollywood Star Guilty of Drunkenly Running Over Five Homeless Men
Just one question: How?? One of the biggest movie stars in India was convicted this week of killing one homeless man and injuring four others after drunkenly running them over in his car. The case actually dates all the way back to 2012, after the victims had been run over while sleeping on a footpath near a road in Mumbai. Khan, who is now out on bail, plans to appeal the verdict.

Pizza Delivery Man Gets Stabbed, Makes Delivery Anyway
It’s not every day you find a delivery boy this committed to his job. Josh Lewis of Kentucky was making a delivery from Spinelli’s Pizzeria to a nearby hospital’s emergency room in the middle of the afternoon when he was stabbed in the back after exiting his car. The suspect then jumped into his own vehicle and drove away. According to the regional manager of the pizzeria, Lewis still made it into the emergency room, pizza in hand, before collapsing. He’s expected to make a full recovery, but police are still searching for the culprit.

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