Life Parenting
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If you need tips on how to get out of trouble really fast (or at least buy some time), go find yourself a three-year-old named Tiffany — she’s a pro.

You see, Tiff’s mom caught her red-handed with a missing doughnut (which was now half eaten, of course). The clever kid knew there was only one way to get out of it: tell an elaborate story. The fairytale included, but wasn’t limited to, her room, flowers, strawberries, her father (who wasn’t home at the time of the doughnut-stealing incident) and their family pet.

As the interrogation began, Tiffany put on her best, sad puppy dog face and slowly put down the incriminating evidence (a small piece of the doughnut), hoping her mom wouldn’t notice.

Mom: So what did you do wrong?

Tiffany: Nothing.

Mom: You didn’t do anything wrong?

Tiffany: No. I did everything right.

Sadly, the three-year-old’s answer just wasn’t going to satisfy her mom who quickly noticed the piece of stolen treat. Tiff valiantly tried to hide it by covering it, but her plan backfired as it got stuck to her hand. Cue another story.

Tiffany: I didn’t want to, but I go to my room then someone [inaudible] and then I eat it and then daddy was mad at me.

Mom: Daddy’s not even here.

Tiffany: No, I’m talking about a story.

Uh-oh. Things weren’t looking too good for our little storyteller and they got worse. Turns out the hat that was sitting beside Tiffany was also aiding and abetting a larger piece of the eaten doughnut. Time to start blaming daddy. Oh, wait, dad’s not home. It was the family pet, she cries.

Time for the last resort: “I’m not going to love you any second,” she told her mom. Emotional blackmail. Nice. Sadly, mom had just about enough and dropped the verdict.

“You don’t have to love mommy, but you do have to be obedient.” Tiffany was given a one-day sentence of no more sweets. D’oh!

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