When Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert, a.k.a. the first couple of country, released a joint statement on July 20 announcing their split, it was as if John Travolta had come out of the closet: shocking yet not surprising. After all, the four year marriage was oft-rumoured to be on the rocks. Sifting back through Blake and Miranda’s online history shows why they probably wish they could hit delete right about now. Here, we track the relationship’s troubling signs, from inception to, well, now:
June 8, 2005: Miranda and Blake meet at CMT’s 100 Greatest Duets Concert, and sing “You’re The Reason God Made Oklahoma.” Miranda later said she had “butterflies,” Blake said “I was falling in love with her,” and Kaynette Gern, Blake’s wife at the time, maintained a dignified silence.
February 2006: Blake filed for divorce from Kaynette, his high school sweetheart. In her filing, Kaynette claimed Blake was “guilty of inappropriate marital conduct.” Whoops!
December 2010: Blake joins Twitter…
May 9, 2010: Blake proposes to Miranda in the woods near her Tishomingo, Okla., home. The couple toast the milestone with Bacardi and Sprite in plastic cups. Sprite distances itself from the celebrations.
May 14, 2011: The couple wed in a lantern-lit Texas barn with only their closest friends, family and People magazine reporters present. Following the occasion, Shelton tells Us Weekly: “This is going to be my last marriage.” Us Weekly says, “We won’t hold you to that.”
Feb 2012: Blake and country singer Cady Groves strike up a friendship over Twitter that leads to Blake appearing in Cady’s music video. The National Enquirer breaks from covering Cher’s impending death to give their friendship side-eye: “Oftentimes Cady would get a call in the middle of the day, then she’d suddenly pack her bags and fly to Oklahoma where Blake lives.”
November 2012: Blake has a baby with Reese Witherspoon.
April 2013: Fear not – these two were “all over each other” while shooting Shelton’s video for Boys ‘Round Here in Los Angeles on Apr. 8. Congratulations?
June 10, 2013: In a People cover story called “The Truth ABOUT MY MARRIAGE,” Blake says he encourages Miranda to snoop through his phone, drawers and computer history, as evidence of “the kind of trust we have.”
December 28 2013: Blake would like his $100 million now, please. Phil from Duck Dynasty finds himself especially emotional in the wake of the news.
April 2014: Miranda and Blake laugh off trouble in their perfect marriage.
February 2015: A rumour circulates that Miranda and her tour mate, country singer Chris Young, were “getting close” at a Nashville bar, raising questions such as, “What will become of Miranda and Blake?” and “What is a Chris Young?”
July 4, 2015: Absolutely nothing suspicious about Blake leading a toast to divorce at a New Hampshire dive bar as Miranda breaks down in tears at a concert in Wyoming. Nothing suspicious at all.
July 6, 2015: Blake files for divorce in Oklahoma. Tears are in beers.
July 8, 2015: Miranda would love to play a Calgary concert two days after her divorce, but unfortunately a “vocal inflammation” forces her to cancel.
July 20, 2015: Blake and Miranda announce split in joint statement, walking away from the marriage with their respective multi-million-dollar houses and regularly priced animals.
July 21 2015: A flock of little birds tells anyone who will listen that Miranda cheated with two different men. Chris Young, celebrity, would like you to know he wasn’t one of them.
July 22 2015: As Blake returns to work on The Voice, TMZ claims Blake cheated with a famous country singer. Miranda’s exotic animals say, “even we have never been part of such a circus.”