Amanda Bynes is back in the news — never a good thing

Just when we thought Bynes was doing OK, she pulled us back in. The former actress was arrested a few weeks ago for her second DUI, then she went on a Twitter rant, accusing her father of physical, sexual and verbal abuse. Amanda’s mom issued a statement denying the allegations and Amanda later tweeted that her dad didn’t do any of the awful things, but a microchip made her say it all.

My dad never did any of those things The microchip in my brain made me say those things but he’s the one that ordered them to microchip me

— amanda bynes (@amandabynes) October 10, 2014

Bynes flew from NYC to L.A. on Friday and as soon as she arrived she was taken directly to a hospital where doctors placed her on a 72-hour involuntary psychiatric hold arranged by her estranged parents. The hold was extended and she will remain in treatment for two more weeks. Here’s hoping she gets the help she needs and the entire Bynes family can forget these recent incidents and move on. [WATCH: Amanda Bynes feels betrayed by parents]

Dame Angie

Angelina Jolie is now an honorary dame. The actress and humanitarian — along with Brad Pitt and their six kids — was at Buckingham Palace on Friday where the Queen presented her with an Honorary Dame Grand Cross. Since Jolie is not a citizen of the Commonwealth, she receives an Honorary Dame Grand Commander instead of the formal title of Dame. Pfft. Honorary Dame Grand Commander is way cooler, don’t you think? [Watch: Did Angelina’s honour come totally out of left field?]

Seriously, though, how cool?

Penelope Cruz is Sexiest and she knows it

Cruz has been named Esquire mag’s 2014 Sexiest Woman Alive. Sure. She’s gorgeous, a great actress, she’s funny and keeps her personal life personal. What’s not to like? Though it is a little off-putting to know that she’s 40 and hasn’t aged in decades. What’s her secret? [Watch more]

Martha Stewart trolls Gwyneth Paltrow; it’s a good thing

The growing rivalry between Martha and Goop has just ramped up a a notch.

Passive aggressive homemaking queen Stewart has called out “I’m just happy to be noticed” Paltrow with a “Concious Coupling” zinger that hits where it hurts. Via E! Online

Conscious Coupling

“Every Thanksgiving table should be blessed with the presence of a long-married pair who bring out the best in each other, are completely enamored despite their differences, and leave every other guest thinking, I’ll have what they’re having. Our holiday pies honor such so there’s a pleasant mix of textures and flavors in every bite. No matter how you slice partnerships, each spotlighting the perfect marriage of crust and filling these six irresistible desserts, there is a whole lot to love.”

“Perfect marriage” bolded by Martha herself. Now that’s bold. [Watch: Here’s Gwyn’s response to Martha’s bash, and it’s perfect]

Amal Clooney

Amal Alamuddin has changed her name to Amal Clooney, at least on her work website of her London-based law firm, Doughty Street Chambers. Oh, yeah, George, things just got real. [Watch: Amal heads back to work and her next project is this, NBD and Clooney hits Comic-Con on honeymoon]

Ya, ya, ya, Lorde reacts to South Park spoof in the most awesome way possible

A recent episode of South Park included a joke about the singer actually being 45-year-old geologist Randy Marsh — full moustache and all. But Lorde took it all in stride, loving that the show revealed her to be a man, and posted her appreciation a few times on Instagram.

Watch the original rendition from South Park but it’s the short video after — taken from an interview with New Zealand’s TV3 — that personifies how cool she is, and will likely be the best three seconds of your day.