Getting your wisdom teeth out sucks. Getting a parking ticket sucks. Getting caught in a downpour without an umbrella sucks. Getting a divorce? That doesn’t suck, it really sucks. Ask Amy Poehler — the funniest woman in television isn’t joking around when she says that splitting up ain’t easy, despite the statistics telling us how common it is for modern couples not to make it to the ’til death do us part stage of a relationship.
The Parks and Rec writer/star has a memoir coming out this month but she continues to find the 2012 breakup of her marriage to Will Arnett “too sad” to put down on paper. “When you are a person going through a divorce you feel incredibly alone,” writes Poehler, “yet you are constantly reminded by society of how frequently divorce happens and how common it has become. You aren’t allowed to feel special, but no one knows the specific ways you are in pain.”
Poehler credits solid advice from good friends as the key to beginning to feel better about things. “Divorce is always good news because no good marriage has ever ended in divorce,” fellow comedian Louis CK told her.
Still, it’s okay to take your time coming around to that kind of silver-lining thinking. Everybody deserves to wallow in an potato chip bag of sorrow and self-pity for a short spell, right? (If Tina Fey says it’s kosher then it must be).
Just don’t forget that you’ve weathered bad times before and emerged (mostly) unscathed.
And feel free to lean on friends for support (and to provide you with the necessary distractions).
Poehler points out that we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves when our relationships end in divorce: “I don’t think a 10-year marriage constitutes failure,” she writes, adding that she’s grateful that her two sons have Arnett as a dad.
Us? We’re grateful for a celeb who calls a sucky spade a sucky, terrible, bummer of a spade (instead of putting a pretty bow on her breakup and presenting it to us as a “conscious uncoupling”) and gets on with it.