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Amy Schumer has never been one to sugarcoat things, whether she’s in the middle of a standup routine or her pregnancy. And just like she was during those nine months, being brutally honest about all the struggles and joys she experienced, Schumer is equally candid in the weeks since she and husband Chris Fischer welcomed son Gene.

 

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10:55 pm last night. Our royal baby was born.

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A day or so after having the baby, Amy posted what she’s taken away from pregnancy thus far, and in a nutshell? Her doula rocked, the hospital staff was amazing and women are GD superheroes. Oh, and all the nausea she suffered from throughout her pregnancy — due to hyperemesis gravidarum, the same complication Duchess Kate suffered from while pregnant with George and Charlotte — literally vanished the second she gave birth. Which is an amazing phenomenon that every mom needs to know about.

 

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Ok here’s my post baby annoying post and my takeaway from pregnancy. Women are the shit. Men are cool and whatever but women are fucking warriors and capable of anything. I was lucky enough to get to have a doula. Her name @domino_kirke @carriagehousebirth what do doulas do? I don’t totally know But what she did was make me and Chris feel totally secure and supported throughout my pregnancy and the birth process. I really recommend getting one if you can. Doctor Brill and all the nurses and pediatricians at Lenox Hill and all the other hospitals i spent time in this year, thank you for everything. I did Pilates with strong women and went for walks. I threw up violently and felt sick mostly every day of my pregnancy. Hyperemesis is real and it’s awful. But fuck, what they say is true. The second you give birth it’s gone. @hgmoms has the best research I found on the condition The only thing that helped me with my nausea was products from @thelordjones I learned that globally 1 in 5 births take place without the assistance of a skilled birth attendant. @everymomcounts is a great place to donate $250 equips a midwife with a bag of medical equipment needed to provide care to hundreds of women and babies in Guatemala. All my friends. Friends I’ve had for 30 years or people who encouraged me to “keep going” or telling me “it will be worth it”. Thank you. Every woman I encountered is so willing to help and advise you and I felt all their strength. And you were right. Thank you ladies from my family. Chris, Gene and of course Tatiana #titsleaking #wearingadiaper

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But it’s Amy’s hashtags that every mom can relate to: #titsleaking and #wearingadiaper. Because how many new moms out there didn’t know that those two things would be happening?

And now Schumer’s tackling breastfeeding. And pumping. And, well, it’s pretty much as you would expect.

 

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Guys what are we doing tonight? #schumerpump #ootd @stassischroeder

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She’s barely keeping a straight face, but at the same time it’s also a look of disbelief, like “Holy sh*t, guys, this is my life now.” And not only is the caption gold but, once again, it’s her hashtag FTW: #ootd. Because any woman who has pumped knows that this isn’t just an outfit of the day, it’s THE outfit for ALL the pumping days.

It’s like she just gets it. Remember on Mother’s Day, when your feeds were brimming with those requisite happy family shots? Not Amy’s.

 

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Milf alert 1 o’clock

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Because what new mom hasn’t had that look on her face as she took a break to pee, all while wearing an adult jumbo diaper, as a friend or family member held the baby?

This is Amy’s life, her new normal, and while it’s not always fun, leave it to Schumer to bring the funny. We can’t wait to see what else she’s got in store for us.

 

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New kid, who dis?

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