Technological advances — hello, SpaceX and cryptocurrency — are reshaping the world as we know it. And while most of these big business projects are backed by billionaire investors, some folks are toying with technology for the simple purpose of making the world smile.
Janelle Shane, for instance, is an American research scientist who works with neural networks, which are computer systems that mimic the human brain. Her latest project used AI to generate new phrases for candy hearts — you know, those little sugary treats usually embossed with sayings like “Be Mine” or “Kiss Me” — and the results were delightfully weird and hilarious.
Shane wrote down every single traditional candy heart message she could find and then fed the information to her computer system.
“Given a set of data, a neural network will learn the patterns that let it imitate the original data – although its imitation is sometimes imperfect,” Shane explained in a blog post.
The neural network was then asked to make up new phrases based on the original English ones it had been given. Some of them were on point and kind of charming, like “DEAR ME,” “LOVE BOT,” “MY BEAR,” “MY MY,” “LOVE BUN” and “CUTE KISS.”
But, as is to be expected with a machine that doesn’t truly grasp the English language, things got weird fast. The AI also produced messages like “TEAM BEAR,” “TIME HUG,” “SWOOL MAT” and “PIN A FACE.” Surely there’s someone out there who would appreciate being given a yellow candy with the words “SWOOL MAT” written in pink, capital letters?
Other wacky and wonderful phrases that the AI system came up with would be better suited for an enemy than a lover: “STANK LOVE,” “SWEAT POO,” “HOLE,” “CHERT FACE,” “YOU A GOOD,” “LOOK BIG,” “YOU ARE BAG” and “YOU HACK.”
Using the same method from the candy heart project, Shane also had the AI create pick-up lines. Trying one of these on someone you’re attempting to woo for the first time might not be the best idea, but there’s definitely something beautiful and poetic about each one.
Some of the pick-up line standouts include:
“Are you a camera? Because I want to see the most beautiful than you.”
“You must be a tringle? Cause you’re the only thing here.”
“I have to give you a book, because you’re the only thing in your eyes.”
“Are you a candle? Because you’re so hot of the looks with you.”
“I want to see you to my heart.”
This Valentine’s Day, give your loved one a message that came straight from the heart of an intelligent computer program. Because nothing says ‘I love you’ quite like a candy with the words “YOU A GOO” stamped on it. Right?