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Following the results of Super Tuesday’s primary elections, Google saw a 1,150 per cent increase in the number of people searching for “how can I move to Canada?”

Which means, America is finally realizing how much better our country is, even if it is being spurred by an election. And being the polite nation that we are, we thought we’d provide our own guide for Americans seeking to escape. After all, the “official” version leaves out many essential facts about what it’s like to really settle down in the Great White North.

1. This is pretty much how Canadians are born

OK, OK–we’re kidding on this one.
E4cGGkV

2. We do not say “a-boot”

Or “hoser”. Like, what does that even mean?

3. There is no second amendment

So get used to these.

Gun
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4. Here is a quick look at our foreign policy:

We don’t have many enemies, but things are a little tense with the polar bears right now.

Map
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5. We don’t really have much gun crime but…

Moose
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6. There are things you should know about Tim Hortons…

The struggle is real.

Donut problems
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7. You’ll need to start adding the letter ‘U’ to all of your words

8. Please don’t mention Rob Ford

We have bad elections too, OK?!
Rob Ford

9. Donair > Gyros

Gyros are great and everything, donairs are just better.
Donair

10. Canada goose are the worst

Canada goose

11. But we still love them

12. Weather does not phase us

Two centimeters of snow closed your schools and workplaces? Not here it won’t.

13. In Canada, you always apologize (even when you’re in the wrong)

Graffiti
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14. You may have problems getting your mail in the winter

Mail
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15. Or anytime, really

Mail
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16. Canadian bacon = peameal bacon

17. The rumours you hear about snow are true

But we DO NOT live in igloos.

Snow
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