Following the results of Super Tuesday’s primary elections, Google saw a 1,150 per cent increase in the number of people searching for “how can I move to Canada?”
— GoogleTrends (@GoogleTrends) March 2, 2016
Which means, America is finally realizing how much better our country is, even if it is being spurred by an election. And being the polite nation that we are, we thought we’d provide our own guide for Americans seeking to escape. After all, the “official” version leaves out many essential facts about what it’s like to really settle down in the Great White North.
1. This is pretty much how Canadians are born
2. We do not say “a-boot”
Or “hoser”. Like, what does that even mean?
I should have been born a Canadian cuz I’m all aboot it
— Craig Dobbins (@Craigury) March 3, 2016
3. There is no second amendment
So get used to these.
4. Here is a quick look at our foreign policy:
We don’t have many enemies, but things are a little tense with the polar bears right now.
5. We don’t really have much gun crime but…
6. There are things you should know about Tim Hortons…
The struggle is real.
7. You’ll need to start adding the letter ‘U’ to all of your words
— John Kerry (@JohnKerry) February 21, 2014
8. Please don’t mention Rob Ford
9. Donair > Gyros
10. Canada goose are the worst
11. But we still love them
12. Weather does not phase us
Two centimeters of snow closed your schools and workplaces? Not here it won’t.
— Canada (@Canada) February 24, 2016
13. In Canada, you always apologize (even when you’re in the wrong)
14. You may have problems getting your mail in the winter
15. Or anytime, really
16. Canadian bacon = peameal bacon
They make Canadian bacon by forcing the pig to apologize before they slaughter it
— Bucky Isotope (@BuckyIsotope) March 1, 2016
17. The rumours you hear about snow are true
But we DO NOT live in igloos.