Dear Mr. Hamm,
Just wanted to send over a note to let you know how much we enjoy your acting talents and what you bring to the entertainment world. Granted, you might not get our message considering how you like to keep your private life as such but we figured we’d put it out there and hope you might reconsider your stance on certain roles. But your recent interview with RadioTimes is a tad troubling. Look, we totally get where you’re coming from and that you don’t want to be pigeonholed as the go-to guy to wear a cape and tights for a living. But here’s why you might want to reconsider:
Have some self-confidence, man!
The way you talk about yourself is a little disheartening. You are by no means “old and irrelevant.” Yes, Hollyweird may be youth-obsessed but if you think you haven’t made an impression then that makes us sad. Dude, you made Don Draper a household name!
Makeup can do wonders
Makeup artists are magicians and we’ve seen some of the work they’ve done on you. Just an FYI, we would totally be OK with you signing on to a superhero movie and working on that particular role until you’re 50.
You wouldn’t be the only one
Many of the Marvel and DC guys are around your age (ripe ol’ 43) or older (Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Jeremy Renner, and your The Town co-star and director, Ben Affleck, spring to mind). Plus there are tons of action stars in their 40s, 50s, even 60s like Matt Damon, Tom Cruise and Liam Neeson who now have their pick of roles.
Sometimes it’s good to be bad
Forget playing a superhero; what about being a blockbuster’s main villain? You’ve been working on quite a few British projects lately (like the Black Mirror Christmas special) so you’re acquainted with their actors. Look at Benedict Cumberbatch, who has signed on as Doctor Strange. That could’ve been you!
Tights aren’t always required
Fine, we’ll address the elephant in the room. We’ve seen the photos of you. You know the ones, where you’re simply walking around, enjoying your day, free as a bird (if you know what we mean). We get it. There’s something about being commando that is so freeing. But that shouldn’t stop you from taking on a role where tights are part of the wardrobe. You’ll have to suck it
in up and wear something that contains Little Hamm.
Jon, how about a shirtless superhero?
So, Spider-Man is taken, as is Batman, Captain America, Superman, Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor and many, many others. But how about Namor the Sub-Mariner? As part of the Fantastic Four mythos and recently a member of the X-Men, wouldn’t it be ironic if you played one of the oldest (literally, his first appearance was in Marvel Comics #1 in 1939) and most important characters? Plus, he’s often shirtless and depending on the version, he might only be in a Speedo. See — no tights or cape!
Hold up, though. You have worn tight clothes before. So, yeah, we’ll take more of that please.
The young people today aren’t completely immune to your charms
Jon, you might think kids under the age of 20 haven’t heard of you because you might look like their dad but we think it’s safe to say all eyes are on you here, not Justin Bieber.
But you do make a good case for the taste of young folks today.
Jon, look, all we’re asking is that you keep an open mind. You might not ever want to play another advertising exec — totally understandable. But don’t close the door on the superhero world. Whether you’d be playing a good guy, an evil villain or something else entirely, don’t shut down casting directors just yet. The actors who play that game know they might be worth more if they sign on to those kinds of movies so, really, we’re merely looking out for you. Don’t say no to tights just yet is all, K?
Concerned Jon Hamm Fans Everywhere