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Actor Ansel Elgort is opening up about his love life and his comments are surprising. They’re also a bit confusing. The 25-year-old actor and star of the new drama The Goldfinch spoke to The Times this week and says that he is looking for a lot more love but it doesn’t have to be sexual. So, friendship. What he’s describing is friendship.

Elgort has been in a long-term relationship with his high school sweetheart Violetta Komyshan for 10 years, but says that he wants to add more love to his life without giving up his girlfriend. Broaching the possibility of an open-relationship, Elgort said “I’d also like to find a lot more love. It doesn’t need to be sexual. I could be done sexually with my girlfriend. I think we’ve been pretty clear that I want to feel free to fall in love with people and that [option] should be open, but sexually it can be closed off.” Elgort added “I’m in love with a bunch of my male friends who I’m not interested in having sex with, so why can’t I put the desire to have sex with women aside and let myself have love with women?”

The actor, who starred opposite Shailene Woodley in the Divergent series and most famously as dying teens in The Fault in Our Stars, touched on his famous co-star in the article. “I love Shailene Woodley and we never had anything sexual and that was great,” said Elgort. Again, that’s friendship. Contrary to popular Hollywood belief and what Harry told Sally, men and women can be friends.

If you’re an adult reading this and think, this kid is walking a dangerous line towards having an affair that is sexual, don’t worry. The young Ansel Elgort has it all figured out. “There will probably be some sort of chemical thing at some point that you can’t help, but you just have to be disciplined and not be a f******…We’re primitive beings.” That seems easy enough.

Elgort and Komyshan first got together during their freshman year at the School of American Ballet and aside from a five month break, the pair have been together ever since. Elgort spoke to Details Magazine about their time apart, saying “I knew something was missing, and I was like, ‘Oh, that’s love.'”

While the old person in us thinks that Elgort’s search for outside love may be a result of being in a long term serious relationship at such a young age, the young(ish) person in us appreciates that the couple had no control over when they found one another and we applaud them for their willingness to find an a way to make their relationship work for them. More love is always a good thing, as long as everyone involved is on the same page.

 

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